Prostitute Jokes

A prostitute standing outside a motel in a small town saw a 70+ year old man walking past. She hasn't had a customer for a while so she whistles at him and says, "Hey, would you like to have some fun time with me?" The old man said, "But I won't be able to..." "C'mon man.... give it a try... " She says. Old man says okay. They go in. The moment they get to the bed, the old timer becomes a machine and makes passionate love to her an hour straight. When he's done, the prostitute catches her breath. Exhausted and tired she says, "But you said you won't be able to...." "...pay you." completed the old man.

A 70-year-old man goes to a hotel. He sits at the bar alone, when a gorgeous woman approaches him, whispers she's a prostitute and would he like a good time? The old man, a widower for many years, agrees and they go up to her room, strip down and climb into bed. The old man performs like a teenager, the woman is amazed at how energetic and agile he is, she tells him if he can do it like that again, she'll give him one for free. He says "Yeah, I can, but I need to take a 20-minute nap, and while I'm asleep, I need you to hold my old pecker." She agrees, he wakes up 20 minutes later and goes at it again, just as vigorously as before. The girl is amazed at the old man's stamina, and repeats her freebie offer, the old man tells her that once again, he'll need a 20-minute nap and she'll have to hold his dick while he's asleep. She does as he asks, and he wakes up 20 minutes later and he goes at it again, with even more enthusiasm than previously. The hooker catches her breath, and needing to satisfy her curiosity, asks the old man "I can understand why you need the nap, but why do you need me to hold your 'Johnson' while you're sleeping?" The old man replies "Oh, that's just so you don't steal my wallet."

A retired Bank Manager in England takes his wife to the local town to buy a new coat and hat. The sun is shining, the birds are singing and they have a lovely drive. They can't find anywhere to park, so find a quiet street and agree that he will wait in the car and drive round the block if he spots any approaching parking attendants. He settles back into his chair, puts on a local talk radio station and starts to read the paper. After a short while there is a tapping on the car window, he looks up and sees what is obviously a prostitute motioning him to lower the window. “Fancy a ride sugar?” she asks casually. Once he recovers from his shock, he responds: “Certainly not madam, I'm a respected man about this town!” “Suit yourself.” she says and starts to walk away. “Just out of interest..." he stutters, "What would I get for a...a 20?” “TWENTY POUNDS??”, she gasps in mockery. "You won't get anything for that round here you frugal old git.” and she storms off, shaking her head. The elderly gent begins to realize the predicament he almost got himself into and slowly starts to regain his composure. A short while later his wife returns and gets back in the car. “Everything alright dear, no problems? You look a little flustered.” “None whatsoever.” he almost squeaks as a single bead of sweat forms on his head. “Good” she replies “Let's go home and I'll show you what I got!” He starts the car and is about to drive away when there is loud banging on the window. His heart skips a beat. He looks up and can’t believe his eyes, standing at the window is the hooker he spoke to earlier, she is pointing angrily at his wife and motioning him to lower the window. “Oh sweet Lord please save me.” he whispers under his breath. “You better lower the window dear,” his wife says, “something must be wrong”. As soon as the window begins to open the hooker thrusts her hand into the car, points at his elderly wife and shouts: “See? I told you won't get anything decent for 20 pounds!"