Older Jokes

"Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough."
"The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. - Mark Twain
"The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for." - Will Rogers
"When you’re older, Friday means less parking spots." - Larry David
"We don’t grow older, we grow riper." - Pablo Picasso
"We must both, I’m afraid, recognise that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary." - C.S. Lewis
"I can honestly say I love getting older. Then again, I never put my glasses on before looking in the mirror." - Cherie Lunghi
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."- George Carlin
"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened." - Jennifer Yane
"As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer." - Robert Quillen"
"Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth." - Conan O’Brien
“The older I get, the better I used to be.” – Lee Trevino
"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." - Sir Norman Wisdom
"Old age is always fifteen years older than I am." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
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