Ketchup

I regret rubbing ketchup in my eyes
But that's Heinz sight.
Why was the man holding a bottle of ketchup? Because it was raining cats and hot dogs.
Why can't tomatoes ever beat lettuce in a race?
Because lettuce is always a head, and tomatoes have to ketchup!
Two tomatoes went jogging. One trips and falls. The other tomato said, "Grab my Heinz and I'll help you up." Trippy tomato replies, "Nah, you go ahead. I'll ketchup."
What happened when a faucet, a tomato and lettuce were in a race? The lettuce was ahead, the faucet was running and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes.
Now I have Heinzsight.