Instructions

The turkey says, "gobble, gobble."
I appreciate it when food comes with instructions.
"Dad, how do you cast spells?"
"You just follow the instructions."

"Which instructions?"

"Yeah, they're the ones."
My wife: Oh look, here's instructions on building a carpenter bee trap.

Me: Shouldn't they be able to do that themselves?
The instructions on this stick deodorant said "remove cap and push up bottom"...
I can hardly walk!
“Nurse: handing me a newborn You got this? Me: Sometimes I have to dig through the trash to re-read the instructions for mac ‘n’ cheese” – @mommy_cusses
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