What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students? a PDF File.
"Do you like computers?" (yes.) "Do you like file sharing?" (yes) "Good, 'cause I'm downloadable and user friendly!"

Tell me of this thing you humans call... (short dramatic pause) love.
Why did the baker file a sexual harassment claim?
People kept commenting on his hot buns.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
There was an Old Man of the Nile,
Who sharpened his nails with a file,
Till he cut out his thumbs,
And said calmly, 'This comes
Of sharpening one's nails with a file!'