Cord

His First Jump
His First Jump A blond guy always wanted to skydive. He waited for years before he had the nerve and enrolled in a skydiving class. They were taught how to jump and when to pull the cord. The instructor told them: "First you pull the cord after 10 seconds, if that doesn't work for any reason, pull the second cord for the auxiliary parachute. At the bottom there will be a bus waiting to take pick you up." So the blond guy takes his parachute and sits nervously with everyone as they are preparing to jump. The light comes on and they start heading out the plane one by one. When it comes to his turn, the blond guy screams and jumps. For 10 beautiful seconds, he gets to fly and hover. Then he remembers to pull the cord. Nothing happens. Panicked, he pulls the other cord. Again, nothing happens. "Oh man," said the blond guy to himself, "that bus better be down there or I'm screwed!"
You're so ugly after the doctor cut your cord he hung himself with it.
I once had a gerbil named Bobby,
Who had an unusual hobby.
He chewed on a cord,
and now -- oh my lord,
now all that's left is a blobby.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
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