Last Thanksgiving, I cut my hand with the carving knife so my idiot brother-in-law grabs my bloody wound and starts twisting it. I screamed, “Ouch! What are you doing!!” He said, “I’m applying a turn-a-cut.”
My buddy asked me "if you could kill anyone in history, who would it be?" I said I probably wouldn't kill anyone in history, but Pete in math is bloody annoying sometimes.