Bird Jokes

What is the name of the final exam you take when studying bird law? The crow bar.
Which bird is the most contented? The crow, because he never complains without caws.
My pet raven, Poe, started coughing... thought it was Corvid-19, but then the bird flu away. Think I will see him nevermore.
What kind of bird always gets stuck in the nest? A velcrow.
The New Circus Performer A circus manager is busy tiding is office when a scrawny little guy walks in the door. He walks over to the manager, and he says "Are you the boss here?" The manager says "Yeah. What do you want?" He says "I'd like to join the circus. I got an act." The guy says "Oh, yeah? Well, let me see what it is." So this little guy goes over to the center pole, and he starts climbing up the pole. And he goes all the way up. He climbs up and up and up. He goes all the way up to the very peak of the big top. And he looks down, and he takes a deep breath, and he leaps off, and he starts flapping his arms. And he starts flying! And he flies all around the big top! He goes all the way around the place. He goes around the center pole. He goes loop-de-loop through the trapezes. Then he gets all the way up, and he takes a nosedive right down to the ground, flapping his arms like mad. And he lands right next to the boss. And he says "Well, what do ya think?" "That's all you do? Says the boss disdainfully, "Bird imitations?"
What does Bigfoot do to relax in his spare time?
He goes bird squatching!
I checked the meat thermometer, and you’re officially one hot bird.
Why are parrots so loyal? They are a man of their bird!
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A bird that talks in morse code!
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A bird that talks your ears off.
How do officials start the races at the pink bird olympics? They say three... two... one... flaminGO!
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
There’s a new dish out; it’s a cross between a cake and a bird. They call it a Flan-ingo.
I went to my backyard and saw a bird of prey eating avocado toast.
It was a millennial falcon.
I bought a parrot but he has a foul mouth.
I let him loose so that he could fly South.
But he came home again.
This proves that I can't win.
He says the F word two hundred times a day.
He offends everybody and drives them away.
Nobody will take this bird even though I offer to pay them.
I'm going out of my mind, it looks like I'm stuck with him.
I have the only parrot on Earth that's a sinner.
If he doesn't shut up, he's going to be my dinner.
A funny old bird is a pelican.
His beak can hold more than his belican.
Food for a week
He can hold in his beak,
But I don’t know how the helican.

(Dixon Lanier Merritt)
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