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Are

A chap sees a zebra sitting on a seat beside him in the cinema eating popcorn. He says “what are you doing here?” The zebra says, “well, I enjoyed the book”.
Zebras usually hold strong opinions. They are very black and white creatures.
Got a pet zebra, didn’t realise how hungry they are. He eats like a horse.
A zebra is the safest place to cross the road. Unless you are actually a zebra.
Some say that puns aren't very funny, while others take them very seriously...
I guess the one thing we can all agree on is that puns are no joke.
I just asked the wife to get into her nurse's uniform.
She said "Why? Are you feeling horny?"
"No we need bread!"
Your parents are the greatest comedians in the world.
They made a joke decades ago and we're all still laughing at it.
Why do criminals hate coins?
Because half of them are coppers.
Everyday for lunch I like to eat two pears, and my dad knows this.
One day I saw him dropping two pears into a bunch of brown paper bags.

“What are you doing?” I asked him.

“Preparing.”
Two condoms are walking down the street...
They pass a gay bar and one condom says to the other "hey, do you wanna get shit-faced?"
There are three kinds of people in this world:
Those who can count, and those who can't.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse if it's an alcoholic considering all the bars he frequents, to which the horse replies "I think not!"
POOF! The horse disappears.

This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am.

But to explain the concept beforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
Police are investigating a string of homicides which have occurred over the last two weeks. The victims have identified as Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger, and the latest victim, Lucky the Leprechaun.
They are looking for a cereal killer.
Why did the kid pursue scuba diving?
Because all his grades are below C-level.
"What are your thoughts on diving?"
"Well, I guess it's descent as a hobby."