"That's all, yolks."
"If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough."
― Phyllis Diller
Did you hear the one about the recycling family of triplets? Polly, Ethel and Ian.
Can’t Lucy how perfect a date with me could be?
“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown
How many ears does Spok have?
Three. The left ear, the right ear and The Final Frontier.
Hey, wanna be Jere-MY-ah?
How does the tooth fairy survive a hurricane? She braces for it.
Baby, you make my rover raise its mast into a vertical position.
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
“I love America, but I can’t spend the whole year here. I can’t afford the taxes.”
— Mick Jagger
Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
What kind of tea do babies drink? Tit Tea.
Djokovic to his friends the morning after winning the U.S. Open: Is anyone hungry for some Denny’s? Because I would like another Grand Slam.
What do you call a man with no body and just a nose? Nobody nose.
What do you call someone who tells too many dinosaur jokes?
A dino-bore.
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
Without you, I’d disintegrate.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak? Mouse code!
What has 4 wheels and flies?
Garbage truck
Building Inspectors should be stricter in Pisa, Italy.
Since they are a bit too *lean*ient.
What’s it like to kiss a vampire?
A real pain in the neck!
Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs.
What did the piece of Cheddar say to the ghost? I'm Lac-ghost intolerant
Are you from China? Cause I'm China get your number.
Hello there, how do you brew?
Chuck Norris doesn’t mow his lawn
He sits on his porch and dares it to grow.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
Lettuce go on a long drive.
Why is The Hulk such a good gardener? Because he’s got green fingers.
My dear, I love you so much it hurts,
I ache to be close to you.
My heart beats wildly out my chest,
Without you I’m so sad and blue.
I’m dizzy with love, I fear being apart,
And despite the pain, I’ve got to say,
Please tell me that you know CPR, my dear,
Because you’ve taken my breath away.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Arfur.
Arfur who?
Arfur got!
Q: How does a tiger move a boat?
A: He uses roars.
Which legend lived in a shack? Was it Eddy? No, Ma-hovel-ich!
"I’m so old that my blood type is discontinued." - Bill Dane
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
What do you call a whirlwind winter romance?
Love at frost sight!
Are you like this mountain? Because I can’t seem to get over you.
What do you call young avocados?
Avokiddos.
Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.
“How do the elves clean Santa’s sleigh on the day after Christmas? They use Santa-tizer!”
"Old age is always fifteen years older than I am." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
There is a German shepherd next door that keeps burying bones in my yard and taking poops on my flower bed.
His dog is not as bad.
When I got my first job at the bowling alley, I was only tenpin.
my nose starts bleeding at eleven every night
but I’ve seen stranger things.
“Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.”
Doug Larson
Go to BabaMail
