Ghosts make the best cheerleaders. They have lots of spirit!
How did the macho bee with eczema feel?
B-Itchy
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad to see me?
Are you a chocolate cake? I’m craving something sweet.
What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day!
Is your name pronounced Ee-an, or Eye-an? I hope it’s the latter cuz I’ve got my Ian you
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
I’m rooting for you!
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
It’s easy to spot a sad flamingo. They get really blue.
Is plate throwing a trully Olympic sport?
Discuss.
Your name must be Lucky Charms because you’re magically delicious!
“The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating.”
— John Walters
What do witches' cats like to have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"
- George Carlin
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
You are beryllium, gold, and titanium all rolled into one. Simply BeAuTi-ful.
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
Why is pumpkin pie so much better than sweet potato pie?
Sweet potatoes are ungourdly.
I just won local "Worst Body Odor Contest".
No one else came close.
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
He had a bone to pick.
Laundry puns?
I got loads of them.
What do you call a flying monkey?
A hot air baboon.
Chuck Norris doesn't hoard toilet paper.
He's used the same napkin since 1974. He just scares the sh*t out of it.
Why was the skeleton stupid?
He was a numskull.
A bomb goes of in a cheese shop.
You can see da brie everywhere.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?
Homeless.
"We live by the golden rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~ Unknown
Oh gosh gal your eyes look like falling stars.
A sheep dog says to the farmer, "I'm going to round up the sheep."
The dog comes back with 50 sheep. The farmers says, "we only have 48 sheep." The dog replies, "Yea, I told you I was going to round them up."
Shoutout to my grandparents...
Because that's the only way they can hear me.
"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy but the Bible says to love your enemy."
- Frank Sinatra
Corona virus is just like pasta.
The Chinese invented it but the Italians will spread it all over the world.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
The perfume was very cheap.
It's price was in cents.
Strawberries are berry healthy. They pack a punch when it comes to beating cancer and other diseases.
Whats the worst thing about manufacturing tabletops?
It's counterproductive.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What's white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions?
A hot frog.
I just had to tell you. Your beauty made me truly appreciate being able to see.
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
“You find out who your real friends are when you’re involved in a scandal.”
— Elizabeth Taylor
All punts are highly intended
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
I like 25 letters of the alphabet
But I love U.
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