What is the opposite of a flamingo? The answer is, a flaminstop.
“The North Pole doesn’t import goods because it’s Elf Sufficient.”
Through three cheese trees three free fleas flew.
While these fleas flew, freezy breeze blew.
Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze.
Freezy trees made these trees' cheese freeze.
That's what made these three free fleas sneeze.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
Two flies were fighting on a toilet seat.
One got pissed.
Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?
I think it's called Two Baroque Girls
Vampires love cookies too, they love No-stake cookies.
How does a vampire make tea? With a used tampon.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
What happened when the drummer re-recorded his drum solo?
There were repercussions.
When you walk into the bathroom...
Urine there.
Baby if you were a burger at McDonalds you would be a McGorgeous.
What do ghosts use to keep their hair in place? Scare-spray!
Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant.
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
Why did the butter keep talking? Because he felt like he was really on a roll.
Heisenberg was wrong. I'm certain about what you're doing tonight.
A lady stormed off when I asked about her hand bag.
Maybe the question was to pursonal.
You’ve been here for short while, but my heart is beating really fast and I can feel some surface tension between us.
Looks like I Andrew the winning card today
Let me check your tag.
Yep, just as I thought - Made In Heaven.
Of all the rocks in the world, I’d pick you.
Nice legging. Are you making a fashion statement? Because you got my attention.
Which city do hamsters live in?
Hamsterdam.
The Irish didn't invent vodka because they were slow and not Russian.
Hey, my parents are out of town. That means we have the haunted mansion all to ourselves.
I gifted my girlfriend a star for her birthday
I think its perfect, she said she needed some space.
What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs and hang on the wall?
Curt 'n Rod.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
German tourist visits France.
Guy at the Airport: "Nationality?"
German Dude: "German".
Airport Guy: "Occupation?"
German Dude: "Nein, nein, Only Vacation".
You, me, we
Two souls stuck together, like a piece of meat
You, me, us
My love shines bright for you, like a big yellow bus
You, me, us two
My love for you can be smelled for miles
Like an old stinky shoe
(Anonymous)
There was an Old Person of Dean,
Who dined on one pea and one bean;
For he said,
"More than that would make me too fat,"
That cautious Old Person of Dean.
Roses are red, potatoes are brown; you are my favorite spud in the whole town!
Why isn’t there an organization like Chocoholics Anonymous?
Because nobody wants to quit.
I’ve been looking for you, and I hope you’re as sweet as jelly beans.
Dogs can't see your bones.
But catscan.
What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes?
“I hope I didn’t quack any.”
Why did the witch go to the doctor?
She had a dizzy spell.
How do rainbows sleep? In forty pinks.
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
I don't mind leg day at the gym.
It's just the two days after that I can't stand.
As the local drunk, I'm quite worried about the corona virus.
It's got potential tequila lot of people.
I love you and I ain’t lion.
Hey baby, are you the Earth? Because all things are attracted to you...
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
Knock, knock
Who’s There?
Annie
Annie Who?
Annie thing you can do, I can do better.
Go to BabaMail
