Mum, you are my soup-er star.
Is that the sun coming up?
Or is it just you lighting up my world?
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
Why are geologists so good in school?
They take nothing for granite.
How does the Pope dry his hands?
He uses a Papal towel.
What has four legs, four eyes, and a net? Four pirates looking for a lost parrot!
What did the wife beaver say to her astronaut husband? You are otter this world.
Stay true to your shelf.
I'd love to see you s'more.
I made Chinese for Easter dinner
If I had made Japanese it would have been Eastest Dinner.
What happened to the football team that practiced in a corn field?
They got creamed!
The perfect name for a pig that plays basketball is a ball hog.
Who do vampires buy their cookies from? The Ghoul Scouts
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
“When I was ten, my family moved to Downer’s Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.”
- Emo Phillips.
Did you hear about the short-sighted frog?
He had to go to the Hopthalmologist.
What's a Koalas favorite drink? Coca Koala!
What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?
A witch laughing her head off.
Where are average things manufactured? The satisfactory.
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
Ah! The element of surprise.
What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?
A taxi
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
49. What does a child car play with?
Toy-otas.
A mountain biker was chased by a Grizzly this morning. He bearly made it.
Why do people take an instant dislike to real estate agents?
To save time.
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
I’m feeling a little blue, do you think you could help al-Levi-ate my pain with a good date?
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
Why does the fairy kingdom smell so awful?
Because of all the toad stools.
Did you hear about the cows struck by lightning?
They were completely cattletonic!
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
My doctor says I should get my ears cleaned every 12 months.
I think he means ear-ly.
What did Jesus say when he rose from the dead on Easter Sunday?
April Fools! I'm not really dead!
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
When my girlfriend told me she needed time and distance, my heart almost stopped,
Fortunately, she was just calculating velocity.
Thirty-three thirsty, thundering thoroughbreds thumped Mr. Thurber on Thursday.
Q: What’s a donut’s favorite drink?
A: Hole-y water!
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
There's side view, rear view and you know what else?
I loview.
The nurse in the hospital gave me an entire crate of the wrong medicine AND it was outdated! I almost died!
I got a bad case of poison I.V.
Where do rabbits learn how to fly? In the hare force!
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
What do you call a hot dog race? Wiener takes all.
This whole birthday thing is getting old, don’t you think?
It’s a little known fact that chuck Norris was dropped twice as a child.
Once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki.
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
What is considered the tallest building in the world?
The library, because it has so many stories.
Go to BabaMail
