During the blizzard, the jalapeno said, I'm a little chilli.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
Having pineapple on a pizza is quite like going down on a cousin: It might taste good, but something is not right.
Why was King Arthur’s army too tired to fight?
All of those sleepless knights.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Two 4's.
Two 4's who?
No need to make lunch we already 8.
I was at the beach and saw this guy in the water yelling, “Help, shark! Help!
I just laughed because I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
I’m a clover, not a fighter.
What happens when a Mexican gets to the worm? He passes out.
What does a Saudi bee call its bros?
Habibees.
"You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks." - Joel Plaskett
"Before I speak, I have something important to say."
What animal could Noah not trust?
Cheetah
Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement
A lease in Wonderland.
How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them.
Who will lead the army of drawing utensils?
The ruler.
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
What does a posh salad shout before it's eaten?
KELP!
"Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no known way to kill it that does not involve nuclear weapons."
- Dave Barry
Why did the ski instructor ask for a divorce?
He found out his wife is a real flake.
What happens if you cross a hairdresser and a werewolf?
A creature with an all over perm!
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
What mouse was a Roman emperor?
Julius Cheeser!
I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
Q. Which square dancing step do stags enjoy most?
A. The Doe-si-Does.
What's yellow and kills you if you get it in your eyes?
A school bus.
“The only certainty in this life is that Monday comes for everyone. A little humor to face at the beginning of the week always goes well. How about starting Monday smiling?”
I've finally worked out why Spain is so good at football
Nobody expects the Spanish in position.
Chuck Norris looked directly at the sun today...
And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.
The local vampire society is constantly growing. They are always looking for new blood.
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
Which Finn is like a hotdog on the ice? Teemu Salami.
Where is a frog's favorite place to eat?
At IHOP.
Hey baby, the sun is not the only thing that rises.
I know you don’t Naomi, but I hope you will soon
Why are goats and rhinos attracted to each other?
Because they are both horny animals.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
What did the dough say after half an hour in the oven?
I’m bready.
What do you get when you put Cola in an oven?
Baking soda.
How does one astronaut on the moon tell another astronaut that he is sorry?
He apollo-gises.
My husband Ronnald asked me what do monkeys wear when cooking.
I said, "an aperon".
What do you call it when witches are optimistic about the future?
Witchful thinking.
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
Is your name Scarlett? Because when I saw you my heart was gone with the wind.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
When I gave the wrong answer about Austrian composers in class, my teacher said, "Are you Schubert that?"
She sells seashells by the seashore.
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
Go to BabaMail
