What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I’m unoriginal,
This is all I can do.
Dear Mother in law...Don't teach me how to bring up my children...
I'm living with one of yours and she needs a lot of improvement.
You knead me in your loaf.
What is it called when a tree has spine problems?
ScoliOAKsis.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
Be careful, too many birthdays can kill you!
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal? Megadeth by Chocolate.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
"Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight." – Phyllis Diller
What's the difference between a colorful women's garment and a famous live music venue?
One's a house of blues, the other's a blouse of hues.
What are ants made of?
Antimatter.
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
“If each day is a “gift,” I’d like to know where I can return the Monday.”
I like my matches like my tennis balls: Pressureless.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
Why did the fish make such a good musician?
He knew his scales.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
What do you call an elephant with an aerial on his head?
An elephant-enna.
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth today
Now when I talk I have this weird axe scent.
Let’s spend some koala-ty time together.
How should you live your life? By seasoning the moment.
If I ever had identical twin daughters, I'd name the first one Kate....
and the second one Duplikate.
How does a car begin telling you bad news?
‘I hate to brake it to you…’
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware? Idaho... Alaska!
My software never has bugs.
It just develops random features.
World is vast and wide.
So much out there to explore.
Right now, let's eat lunch.
Every time when I see a picture of something amazing in space, I usually say “That’s totally far out.”
Roses are red,
I’m going to bed.
Let's pumpkin spice things up a bit
What a werewolf movie, talk about howling!
A mathematician walks into a bar and says, “One beer for me, and 10 beers each for all my friends!”
Bartender: "Now that’s an order of magnitude!"
Call me Joshua, because I'm going to break down your walls.
If there was no gravity on this planet, I would still fall for you.
There was an Old Person of Ems,
Who casually fell in the Thames;
And when he was found
They said he was drowned,
That unlucky Old Person of Ems.
Why did the cookie monster rob the keebler elves? Because they had a lot of dough.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!
Don't break a man's heart; they only have one. Break their bones. They have over 200 of them.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
If I had a dollar for every time I had an existential crisis...
Would it even matter?
My frinds call me Legato, since I'm so smooth
My friend told me to come and meet you.
He said you're a really nice person. I think you know him.
Jesus, yeah that's his name.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
Where do you think the astronauts keep their sandwiches? In the launch-box.
You look pretty fun, I hope this means I’m headed into a new S-era of good luck
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
Go to BabaMail
