Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have little anty-bodies.
Why did the daddy rabbit go to the barber?
He had a lot of little hares.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
What kind of cookies do poor people want during Halloween? Fortune cookies.
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Abby.
Abby who?
Abby birthday to you!
Hey baby, you caught my curiosity. Mind if I explore you a little?
What‘s an Italian’s favorite tea?
Spagettea!
No costume? Oh you lucky girl, you don’t need Halloween. You look like an angel every day.
Whats in a camels favorite cup of tea?
Camelmile
Where did the deer go to fix its tail?
The re-tail shop.
There are 4 rings men need for marriage - The first is an engagement ring, then a wedding ring, then suffe-ring and endu-ring.
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
The pirate steals arrrrt when he has the chance.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
A cable TV installer walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, "You'll be served sometime between 7am and 2pm."
Many people think that when warm droplets of water in the air are rapidly cooled it forms fog.
But it’s actually a common mist-conception.
"Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad."
Is there wifi in here? Because I feel we have a strong connection.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
Call me Ishmael. Or just call me.
How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!
“When in doubt, yoga it out.” – Unknown
Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce? Because he thought his wife was a flake.
Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
An actor I know fell through the floor recently. It's just a stage he was going through.
"Never eat more than you can lift"- Miss Piggy.
---
"I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets."- Dolly Parton
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
All you need is a little vitamin sea.
“Life begins at 40 – but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.”
Helen Rowland
"Going out with you would be my biggest break since the rural juror."
- 30 Rock
How can you tell if there is a dinosaur in bed with you? By the `D' on his pajamas.
What does the Yeti do when he is tired?
Himalaya down.
An Native American drank 100 cups of tea.
Next day they found him dead in his tea pee.
Why does a lawyer tuck a suitcase into bed?
To rest his case
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?
Yes, it is February 14th
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
Why did the man keep going in circles? He didn't get the point.
“It’s a sure sign of summer if the chair gets up when you do.”
-Walter Winchell
There was a recent study showing that crows were hit a lot more by trucks than cars...
they came to the conclusion that this was because crows can warn each other by going "CAAAR CAAAR" but can't say "TRUCK TRUCK".
Are you the morning bus?
'Cause i always miss you...
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
You look so sweet that you're giving me a cavity.
When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
Where are koalas taken when they die? To an ancient bearial site.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs lying on a pile of leaves?
Russle.
Go to BabaMail
