“Time spent with cats is never wasted.”
- Sigmund Freud
Q: How do Japanese artists bid farewell?
A: Cyan-Nara!
Why couldn’t the skeleton get out of bed?
He was bone tired.
Why couldn't the mathematician cross the road?
Because he kept trying to half the distance.
I miss the old days of railway when the engineer had plenty of esteem.
What do you call the gladiator who only tackles other gladiators?
Wrestle Crow.
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
What will you call two quizzers having a date in spain comic con?
Spanish con-quiz-daters.
You asked me what love was and I did not know how to answer it. Now I know it's a feeling that can not be mastered.
Organ donors really put their heart into it.
What type of music should you play at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Sham-rock!
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear sir,
Your internet access has been terminated due to illegal usage.
Sincerely, your service provider.
Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?
Because they put on the salsa.
What type of flowers does everybody have? two-lips.
What did one hummus say to the other hummus
“Sabra.”
Why did Prince Charming take the Thanksgiving Turkey to the ball instead of Cinderella?
The turkey was already dressed.
Here comes the sun of my life
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror!
What is a teddy bear’s favorite Thanksgiving food?
Stuffing!
“Yoga is too slow.” — Rob Gronkowski
It’s amazing how most jars look alike...
The resemblance is uncanny
What do you call a cat sitting on a platter?
A Platterpuss.
I was really surprised when I learned that singer Pink's favorite color was actually green. No one could have i-magenta-it.
What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
What do you get when you put a bomb in a dinosaur? Dino-mite.
Opposing coaches facing the Leafs in the 60s and 70s knew that Dave was the
one to Keon.
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
I want to be a drop of your blood, so I could travel your body and sleep in your heart.
I would ask you if you're tired from running through my mind all day, but from the looks of it, you don't do any running.
A balding magician had an act where he'd put a rabbit on his head and make it disappear...
The hare vanished into thin hair.
“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.”
Bill Watterson
My golf number may not be that good but my phone number sure is!
Why did the artist use the bathroom? Because she was consta-painted.
How much ground would a groundhog hog, if a groundhog could hog ground? A groundhog would hog all the ground he could hog, if a groundhog could hog ground.
Who needs a sled when you can just ride me?
I scream, you scream, we all scream for icecream!
Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
What’s red and moves up and down? A tomato in an elevator.
How do you communicate with a fish? Drop it a line!
You are the coffee to my espresso and I love you a latte.
Two white bears got married, but soon ended up unhappy and got divorced.
It’s as if they were polar opposites.
I hate getting tide down in one place. So let's take an ad-van-ture.
It's Taco Night, so on my way home, I grabbed a bag of shredded cheese at the store, queso we needed some more.
.
Your name is insert name here?
“Eating words has never given me indigestion.”
Unknown
What do you call a funny bone?
A humerus.
The record store owner needed to get the albums by a Canadian band with Neil Pert on drums out on sale before Halloween...
So he put in a Rush order!
Is your iPad making you fall asleep?
I can help—there’s a nap for that.
What lives in apples and is an avid reader? A bookworm !
Go to BabaMail
