What do you call a cross between a joke and a rhetorical question?

What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.

She saw Sharif’s shoes on the sofa. But was she so sure those were Sharif’s shoes she saw?

Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.

I know you got a thing for me,
But there’s a few things I first must say.
If you really are interested in me,
Then you must know these things today.

I’m not the perfect girl,
I will annoy and anger you,
I’ll nitpick and complain,
Until my face turns blue.

I may yell and shout a lot,
And I’ll carry on for a while.
I’ll tell you to shut up sometimes,
And to wipe away that smile.

I may whine and kick and scream,
If I don’t get my way.
And remind you that you’re useless,
And even ask you if you’re gay.

I’ll tell you not to hang out with friends,
And forbid you from staying out late.
You’ll never get to hold the remote,
And I’ll do all sorts of things you hate.

Don’t forget you’ll have to go shopping,
And wait for me for hours,
I’ll make you do the laundry,
And require you to buy me flowers.
But don’t you worry, don’t you fear,
You already know I’m a catch by now,
I just wanted to remind you, honey,
I’ll put up with you somehow.

(Unknown)

If you were a baseball field could I hit a homerun.

What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.

Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.

What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.

“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben

What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.

A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.

What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"That was a hard drive."

What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”

I used my credit card to buy 1-ply toilet paper.
And now I'm paying for it.

“I just wanna kick it in the woods with my birches.”

“The key to my heart looks a whole lot like a plate of pasta.”
― Unknown

What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasabee?"

Big Foot has been spotted throwing tantrums and talking back to his parents.
No wonder they call him the Sassquatch.

My coffee hasn't kicked in yet, so I can't think of a charming pickup line.

What do you call a baby lion on lettuce?
Cub Salad.

What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, you're bacon my heart melt.

What did Bacon say to Tomato? Lettuce get together!

The Paddington bears don’t eat lots of marmalade sandwiches because they are already stuffed.

A crayon that looks like a strawberry is usually called a cranberry.

There was a terrible fire at the shoe factory today...
Over a million soles were lost.

“Never miss a good chance to shut up.”
Will Rogers

What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.

You must be the square root of two because I'm irrational around you.

Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.

What do you call a mathematician's spouse?
Their significant figure.

Give a Englishman some tea and you'll make him happy for a day.
Teach him how to grow tea, and he'll colonize your country.

What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!

Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock

Why does Valentine's Day never work in Africa?
All the lion cheetahs.

Where do school-going vampires carry their books?
In bat-packs.

Q: What is a dentist's favorite animal?
A: A molar bear!

What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.

How do you make sweet corn?
You whisper sweet nothings in its ear!

Doctor: "Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is backwards"
Me: "And?"

What did one frog say.to the other?
Time's sure fun when you're having flies.

Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? He's got no beef.

If you shave your legs as well as that fennel, I can't wait to touch them.

I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.

How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.

“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown

“There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
Ben Williams

What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.

“What do dogs do on their day off? Can’t lie around – that’s their job.”

- George Carlin.

I'm using the wishbone to manifest a date with you.