Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Rabbit.
Rabbit who?
Rabbit up carefully, it's a present!
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
Would you like to come to my place and light my Yule log?
What should you do if you see a blue banana?
Try and cheer it up.
What do you call an existential lycanthrope?
A whywolf.
This morning I saw a beautiful flower, and thought of you.
I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet
I asked my 15 brothers and sisters and they didn’t know either.
Why was the koala scientist so well-respected by his peers? He was known for conducting excellent koalatative research.
“The biggest thing I remember is that there was just no transition. You hit the ground diapering.”
- Paul Reiser.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
Excuse me, is your name Grace?
Because you're amazing!
Theres a party in my pants and your invited.
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
There are 4 rings men need for marriage - The first is an engagement ring, then a wedding ring, then suffe-ring and endu-ring.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
Me and my friends are in a band called “Duvet”. We’re a cover band.
Why couldn't the troll catch any fish?
Because other people took the bait.
Roses are red, Violet are blue. What would you do. If I fell in love with you?
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
It may just be a stage I'm going through, but I sure do love the trapdoors on set.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
You know why vampires can raise ghouls?
Because they are neck romancers!
What’s the easiest way to stop a dog from digging in the garden?
Take away his shovel!
What did the painter say to the wall? Another crack like that and I'll have to plaster you!
Up to snow good.
When in France, I have Nantes-thing to complain about.
What is considered the tallest building in the world?
The library, because it has so many stories.
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
Tne thing you won't catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
What is a witch's favorite ride at the fair?
A scary-go-round.
I've never seen the inside of my ears...
But I've heard good things.
Why was the bus driver so confused? He was 'bus-t' in traffic!
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
What would you rather be, a polar bear or a little otter. A little (h)otter
"Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet."
Unknown
My friend just found out she will be giving birth to twins in 9 months!
For now, they're just cell mates.
What position did the young vampire bat play on the football team?
Quater-bat.
You really mermaid my day.
Why was the broom late? It over swept!
"I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it's the pepper or the oni."
— Ulrik Stephens
What's the difference between a strawberry and a Tyrannosaurus? The strawberry is red!
Be careful what you say in a corn maze. The walls have ears.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
I’m not a bad putter…
I just can’t catch a break.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
I'll make love to you if you want me to.
How does the Grammar Nazi party fund its government?
Through a syntax.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robin the piggy bank again.
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