A strawberry usually gets stuck often when it gets jammed.
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put ewe and I together.
What does daylight-saving time mean in Seattle?
An extra hour of rain.
Listen, I’ve got a couple important questions and I really need Samanthas
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
Do you have to leave so soon? I was just going to poison your drink.
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
Which hulking left-winger could body-slam The Giant? Dave Andre-chuck.
Halloween is the night of darkness. But you are brighter than an angel.
Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a ‘V’ formation, one line is always longer than the other? That's because there are more geese in that line.
"Just one hot chick."
“If being awesome was a crime, I would be serving a life sentence.”
Anonymous
“Did you hear the forecast for Christmas Eve? They’re calling for rain, dear!”
What type of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane Chocolate!
Your angles must be less than 90 degrees because I think that you are so acute.
What did they give former Flyers left-winger Brian when he successfully
bulked up? Massive Propps.
“Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring: ‘How to Build a Boat.’”
Steven Wright
What type of toilet paper does the math house have?
Multiply.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
My wife asked if I could clear the kitchen table.
I had to get a running start but I made it.
If you date me, you'll eventually see a diamond.
If you took all the people in the world who fall asleep during church, and laid them head to toe in a straight line
They would all be a lot more comfortable.
Do you know what my shirt is made of? Husband material.
How do you get a baby alien to sleep?
Rocket.
What nut is broken?
“A silly nut”
I know a guy who had both arms amputated from elbow to shoulder.
He is always serious and never humerus.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
I ran three miles today. Finally I said, “Lady take your purse.”
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
Hunting elephants is illegal as ivory well know.
What do ducks watch on TV?
Duck-umentaries.
I should have dressed up as a ghost tonight so I could let you under my sheets.
Car puns are really tiring
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
It's almost Summer! Time to find out what my friends with swimming pools have been up to since last summer...
Are you a 45-degree angle, because you’re perfect.
What do you say when you are happy with how life has been weeks before Easter? It’s so far been an egg-cellent spring.
(give a dozen plastic roses) "I'll stop loving you, when these roses die.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
Beer is the greatest beverage on earth.
That's my pint of view, anyway.
I think you and I could make a perfect Caleb-oration
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French
We’ve made a jig mistake, don’t you a-green?
Elizabeth has eleven elves in her elm tree.
Go to BabaMail
