We are perfect balance for each other.
When Napoleon died in the explosion, he was blown-apart-e.
What do you say to a bee that bothers you?
"Buzz off!"
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
"I guess I think of lotteries as a tax on the mathematically challenged."
- Roger Jones
It takes one to snow one.
Laundry puns?
I got loads of them.
Why was the Pirate sad when his parrot left him?.
It gave him the cold shoulder.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
Why do realtors love skateboards?
Because they can flip them whenever they want!
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
What do you call a person really crazy about the moon
A lunatic.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
What has no pants and screams like a bear? A bear.
My head hurt and I had a really runny nose during math class
I think i had a sin(x) infection.
My job installed this new faucet.
I'm really faucinated by it.
Never laugh at your spouse’s choice… You’re one of them.
What’s a vampire’s favorite cocktail?
A Bloody Mary.
Did you get those pants on sale? (Why?) Because at my house they would be 100% off!
Why do old artists never die? They just withdraw.
Why can't college professors take exams at a zoo? Because there are too many cheetahs.
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
There’s a big difference between yoga and pie-lattes.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
What did the little mountain say to the big mountain? Hi Cliff! Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That's just how I roll.
“I married beneath me, all women do.”
—Nancy Astor
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a hyena?
A monster with a sense of humor.
If I were a cat, I'd spend all 9 lives with you
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
Are you one of Job's daughters?
Because you're twice as beautiful as any other girl I've ever seen.
What do you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine?
A slow poke.
A Peruvian pervert named Bruno
Once said, "There is one thing I do know:
A woman is fine,
A boy is divine,
But a llama is numero uno!"
What do you call a free treadmill?
The Great Outdoors.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
“Went to Disneyland because my daughter’s obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her.”
- Ryan Reynolds.
"If you want to pass this point alive, you must answer my riddle: What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?" the Sphinx asked.
Oedipus pondered for a moment, "Probably one of those new Pokemones," he finally replied. "There is like 600 of them.
"Fair enough man," spoke the Sphinx. "I can't reasonably expect you to remember all their names. You may pass."
“When late morning rolls around and you’re feeling a bit out of sorts, don’t worry; you’re probably just a little eleven o’clockish.”
– Unknown
Are you an exoplanet? Because I’m bad at astronomy and pick up lines.
How does Reese eat her ice cream?
Witherspoon.
If I knew I was going to die tomorrow, I would spend every second today thinking about you.
My love for you is like an marathon. It goes on and on.
Is your name chocolate, because you make my seratonin levels rise and give me a sense of pleasure.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
If I could rearrange the alphabet...
I'd leave it the way it is.
I know an old owl named Boo,
Every night he yelled Hoo,
Once a kid walked by,
And started to cry,
And yelled I don't have a clue!
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
"There's a woman trapped under a motorway bridge in Italy."
"Genoa?"
"I'm not sure, I can't see her face."
Go to BabaMail
