I was alone in the bath.
Imagine my surprise when I felt a tap on my shoulder!
What did the owl booty text his girlfriend?
I’ve been thinking about you owl night long.
Please stop with all the corona jokes.
I‘m sick of it.
The moon asked the sun: Buddy when you are so hot, why are you single yet?
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
(give a dozen plastic roses) "I'll stop loving you, when these roses die.
I don't normally put all my eggs in one basket, but I wanna be your number one bunny, honey.
"Finland has produced so many brilliant distance runners because back home it costs $2.50 a gallon for gas."
Esa Tikkannen
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
I don't mean to brag, but I'm one of the fastest speed-readers in the tri-county area.
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
This is snow laughing matter!
“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
A.A Milne
Why are Minotaurs always broke?
Because their loan sharks are always milking them dry!
Won't you wear my ring up around your neck
To tell the world I'm yours by heck!
They say that she only paints night scenes. Other artists really pale by comparison.
What happened when an orange, an apple, and a banana all went on a picnic together?
They had a “fruit-ful” day.
What was the Peach's favorite surf band from the 60's? The Peach Boys.
Is there a wormhole that will always take me directly to where you are?
“Hiking is the only slightly less ugly stepsister of running.” – Lindy Hughes
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
What’s the opposite of coffee?
Sneezy.
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
Dracula really doesn't have any other vampire friends. It's because he's a total pain in the neck.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
I used to live in in Aragon, in Spain.
Then I left.
I'm Aragone.
Can I buy you an Easter Egg?
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
How did the fruit get to Hawaii? The pineapple express.
You remind me of milk - cuz you're doin' my body good.
What kind of melody does a ship makes when if it crashes on shore?
A wreck-quiem.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
I feel like God's telling me that you should go on a date with me.
I eat eel while you peel eel
Whenever I hear folksy stories about the hills, I can never get over them.
When the strawberry's favorite song came on, he exclaimed "That's my jam!"
Dang, girl. You're a fielder's choice.
“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
What Did The Gladiator Do With The Glory-Hole?
He put his spear in it.
What do rodents say when they play bingo?
‘Eyes down for a full mouse’!
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
What did the deer say to his friend when he suggested a trip to the park? Good i-deer!
Why was the robot mad? People kept pushing its buttons.
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
I slipped some Great Barrier Reefers in yur drink.
Which hand should we use to stir the soup? It is better to stir the soup with a spoon!
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