Did you know that you only need two letters to spell Panda?
You just need P and A.
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
Have you ever seen a fish cry?
No, but I’ve seen a whale blubber.
This birthday wish may be late,
And it may be over in a flash,
But its message is good anytime,
Because it comes with lots of cash.
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
Your good seed for the day.
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
I’m in such a Henri to get to France!
If a crab worked in a pizza parlor, which station would it work?
The crust station.
What do you call Dragon with no silver?
A dron.
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You think dinosaurs are scary?
Imagine dragons!
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
I saw a movie about a pig with no eyes.
It was PG.
What did the swimming pool say to the skimmer?
Leaf me alone!
Mr. and Mrs. Apostrophe are divorcing....
He found her to be possessive- and she hated his contractions. The marriage felt like a sentence
In the last peach race, I put $30 peach way on two new racers.
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs lying on a pile of leaves?
Russle.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
Something is odd about my hot stove.
I just can't quite put my finger on it.
A spider saw a car he liked at the dealership and decided to take it out for a spin.
My weekend is fully booked.
What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday?
It’s roar birthday!
“Taurus: Lazy rule number 39: Can't reach it, don't need it.”
Irish I had better jokes.
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
"On cloud wine."
I walked into my sister's room and tripped on a bra... It was a booby trap.
Why did the strawberry get bruised? Because it was under pear pressure.
I used to hate my husband's cologne...
But then it started to rub off on me.
I've already heard seven cancer puns today.
If I hear tumor it's gonna benign.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
Wholey-grain! You really bread my mind!
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
I feel like I'm in Scandinavia, because when I'm with you it's like the sun never sets.
An innocent fellow named Tim
Met a zombie quite horrid and grim.
Tim patted its head
Before it had fed.
I wonder what happened to him!
How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing?
He always finds the biggest footholds.
No one can accuse this trip of being plane.
What did the man say after spending hours skiing?
"I'm starving, can I avalanche?"
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp.
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
When does a leprechaun cross the road?
Just like everyone - when it's green!
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