It's Taco Night, so on my way home, I grabbed a bag of shredded cheese at the store, queso we needed some more.
.
I've finally started to believe that Pluto is not really a planet...
Especially when I saw him in a cartoon.
What is it called when you're singing in the shower and shampoo gets in your mouth?
A soap opera.
What would a peach say to its girlfriend or boyfriend? – “You will always have a peach of my heart, baby!”
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
What painting is terrible at ever being happy? The Moaning Lisa.
“If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out.”
Lawrence Ferlinghetti
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
“There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
Ben Williams
“Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.” —Stephen Leacock
If you where a sheep I would clone you.
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A bird that talks in morse code!
I remember asking my dad repeatedly what the acronym LGBTQ meant.
I never got a straight answer.
What might folks in Tokyo find between Godzilla's toes?
Slow runners.
I bought a lamp for my friend
To brighten their day
What’s a vampire’s favorite food?
Vampires aren’t real.
“Parenting is a constant battle between going to bed to catch up on some sleep or staying awake to finally get some alone time.” — Anonymous
April Fools Day: The day every newspaper tries to fool readers by sneaking in at least one properly researched, factually correct story.
Wow, wouldn’t mind if you became my significant otter.
What should you do if it starts raining cats and dogs?
Please seek shelters.
That girl must be a premature contraction as she makes my heart skip a beat.
During holidays, soccer referees send their families yellow cards.
Your batteries must be low after hiking all day. Can I recharge them?
Why is learning to ski in France so difficult?
'Cause sometimes they won't Alp you.
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
The skeleton ordered a cabernet wine with a full body because he didn't have one.
The sun must be jealous of you because you are so hot.
“There was a sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center that said ‘Keep off the Grass.'”
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?
A skillet-ton.
What sort of lights were on Noah’s Ark?
Flood lights.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
They can’t read it, it’s on a need-to-gnome basis.
What must a witty perfume have?
Scents of humor.
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
What do you get when you cross the Godfather with an attorney? An offer you can't understand.
“Everyone knows that if you’ve got a brother, you’re going to fight.”—Liam Gallagher
This must be decaf, cause you’re just dreamy!
What's better than having roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ....
Why don't they make ice cream from breast milk? It's an udderly bad idea!
You are one well-defined function!
What did the owl booty text his girlfriend?
I’ve been thinking about you owl night long.
“Being part of a family means smiling for photos.” –Harry Morgan
When a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing, either the car is new or the wife is.
Patient: "Nurse im suffering from bacon disease!" Nurse: "Baloney"
Where is the best place to get camel milk?
Straight from the Dromedairy.
Go to BabaMail
