Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
My flamingo friends are always making me pay for dinner. I find that they can be real cheepskates.
Werewolves love similes and metafurs.
Why did the biology teacher and the physics teacher split up?
They had no chemistry!
You make me want to upgrade my Tivo.
My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home
I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
What trees do ghouls like best?
Ceme-trees!
Two fish are swimming in a river, when one of them hits a concrete wall. He turns to the other and says: "Dam"
How did the pot head propose to their spouse?
Marriage, You wanna?
A tennis ball walks into a bar.
The bar man asks: “have you been served?”
Yo momma’s so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
How do spiders communicate? Through the World Wide Web.
Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea.
What's the difference between marriage and a Journey song? A Journey song has a climax.
I’m in such a Henri to get to France!
Why did the banana go to see the doctor? The banana was not peeling very well.
Flamingos are great to go out with, because they all party like flock stars.
What a werewolf movie, talk about howling!
These puns are turtle-y hilarious.
Ever had real cane sugar?
It cannot be beet.
Did you hear about the journalist who became a sterling silver spoon salesman?
He finally found the scoop he was looking for.
Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key, because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
Did you alter my vestibular apparatus?! Because I keep falling over for you!
Federal Agents raid gun shop, find weapons
I perform best when I’m wet.
Honey, do you like water? That means you already like 80% of me.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
Why are refrigerator shelves hipsters?
They were there before it was cool.
At every party there are two kinds of people: Those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.
Your fur is red, so beautiful, like an angel in disguise.
How do you stop two blind men from fighting?
You yell, “look out, he's got a knife!"
“Bring a compass. It’s awkward when you have to eat your friends.”
I would tell a time travel joke,
but you didn't like it.
She stood on the balcony, inexplicably mimicking him hiccuping, and amicably welcoming him in.
My neighbor said a man walked into my garden and stole my mangoes.
I am wondering where did that mango.
"Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference."
I like my coffee like I like my men: either tall or with a confusing Italian name.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
Why was red in awe of orange?
“Because orange blue green.”
My blind friend did LSD for the first time...
There was a lot more tripping than usual.
Ann and Andy's anniversary is in April.
“Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and to have her nonsense respected.”
— Charles Lamb
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
Where do fish wash? In a river basin.
What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Go to BabaMail
