When fishing, is there ever a good reason to take the worm off the hook?
I guess that’s debaitable.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
I go through so much shampoo it's just ridiculous!
I don't know, maybe my head is bigger than most but it does say to use a cap full.
“It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.”
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
What did the nut tell itself before crossing the finish line? “I pe-can do it!”
“Surely Sylvia swims!” shrieked Sammy surprised. “Someone should show Sylvia some strokes so she shall not sink.”
A father was buying bass lessons for his son.
After the 1st week, the father asked him what he had learned. The son said, "On my 1st lesson, we learned about the E string."
The 2nd week came, and after the lesson, the father asked what had he learned that week. The son said, "On my 2nd lesson, I learned about the A string."
When the 3rd week came by, the father said to his son, "You know these are expensive lessons. What have you learned this week?"
The son said, "I quit the lessons. I already got a gig."
Two detectives interrogate a 37 year old mute man. The detectives give the man a notepad which he scribbles on for a few seconds, and hands back to them.
"I'll never talk."
Distill my beating heart.
Q: What’s a tiger’s favorite color?
A: Roar-range.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
Which genre of music appeals to most cheeses? R'n'Brie
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
"Do you wake up as I do, having forgotten what it is that hurts or where, until you move?"
– Jeanette Winterson
Wife: "I'm pregnant."
Me: "Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad."
Wife: "No you're not."
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
Where do you store peach juice? Inside of a peach-er.
“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.” —Will Ferrell
Why did the two 4's skip lunch? They already 8 (ate).
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
I’ve got my phone, and you have your phone number… imagine the possibilities.
I would like to take a moment and thank my eyeballs.
Thanks for looking out for me.
Let’s take an elfie.
I think my heater is sick.
It's hot.
So what did the Mother bee say to her misbehaving bee son
"Beehive!"
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
This weekend is going to be LITerary.
"Eggs-cuse me."
What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker
Hop In.
"Bee"
A bee comes tapping at my screen,
Buzzing, bumping, sounding mean.
Bouncing, pushing, acting wired,
With no thought of getting tired.
¨I could say, “Dear bee, what is it?
Would you like to come and visit?”
But I feel his anger’s keen.
So I’m glad I have a screen!
– Denise Rodgers
I've recently started up a band called "Mum's The Word."
If anyone asks, you've not seen us.
Roses are red
violets are violet.
Here is my number
why don’t you dial it?
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
What did Train say when they visited a sibling in South Korea?
Hey, Seoul Sister!
Why don't anarchists drink green tea?
Because it helps fight free radicals.
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
Why didn’t the pineapple fit in with the other fruit? Because it’s rough around the edges.
If you were an element you'd be francium because you're the most attractive.
Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!
Our therapist said I need to valley date you.
What do you call a gangsta snowman? Froze-T
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A stick.
My toilet just turned one today.
It was her bidet.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
I just want you to know: I think you're El Salvadorable.
What dinosaur is always sad? Cryalotosaurus
I just heard that the government has made an amendment to lockdown to allow Father Christmas out...
It's called the Santa Clause
Go to BabaMail
