"Hey baby, you look so good, I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of y'all!"
- Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
What do you do if a rabbit keeps pooping in your yard? Take him to a pellet court.
How do you know that it's too cold outside for a picnic?
You chip your tooth on the soup.
It is a bad film because good ones tend to have created atop day-old soup.
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He felt crummy!
Roses are red, potatoes are brown; you are my favorite spud in the whole town!
“Yoga class helps me calm down from the agonizing stress of trying to get to yoga class on time.” — Unknown
I had a flamingo come to stay with me when he had a cold. We nicknamed him phlegmingo.
Girl, are you an adjective? Cause you should come first every day.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What do you call two banana skins?
A pair of slippers.
"Over-easy like Sunday morning."
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
What is the only American State that has ever been married?
Mrs. Ippi.
What do you call it when the preacher passes gas during his sermon?
A blast from the pastor.
My girlfriend said we aren't getting married until she has a pear shape
It's the reason we cantaloupe
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Britney Spears
Britney Spears who?
Knock, knock - oops i did it again.
"Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it."
Anonymous
Hey girl, I've been warming up this bench for you my whole life.
You must be calcification on a non-contrast CT, cause you’re just glowing.
You must be a bowling ball since you’re right up my alley.
How do you make a bandstand?
Take away their chairs.
Did you hear about the birds of prey on black Friday?
It was a free for owl.
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
How do you make a werewolf stew?
Keep him waiting until the full moon!
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
What is a frog's favorite time?
Leap year.
What sign was posted in the witches' parking lot?
Violators will be toad.
What did the thief steal on the theatre's opening night? The spotlight.
What is the study of real estate? Homology
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
Hey girl my heart is anywhere you are.
Why are people in big cities in Spain always dry?
Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
At a restaurant, the peach said, "Hey, I would like a peach of cake for dessert, thank you!"
There is a young schoolboy named Mason,
Whose mom cuts his hair with a basin.
When he stands in one place,
With a scarf round his face,
It's a mystery which way he’s facing.
You are my loop condition. I keep coming back to you.
Did you hear about the party a little boy had for his sisters barbie dolls? A. It was a Barbie-
What is a strawberry's favorite music band? Pearl Jam.
The only gift I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I’m having a hard time dealing with it.
I lost my wrist watch somewhere near my house.
Now it’s the neighborhood watch.
What is it about birthdays that make kangaroos unhappy?
They only get to celebrate them in leap years.
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo? Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex
What distinction does OJ hold in jail? He's the first inmate with a retired number.
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
Go to BabaMail
