Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
The hip Doctor.
"The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time."
― Joe Girard
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don't know.
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What is a bunch of crows gathering money called? Crow funding.
Nurse: Here’s our list of donor hearts and livers in alphabetical order.
Doctor: wow. Looks very ORGANized.
Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?
All clover the world.
“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” — Woody Allen
What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?
A hemogoblin.
What did the artist tell his greatest nemesis? I challenge you to a doodle!
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
I tried to warn my son about the dangers of Russian roulette...
It went in one ear and out the other.
Are you doing Ananda Balasana, or are you just happy to see me, baby?
Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
I was sailing my boat when a massive hand rose out of the water and then slowly disappeared...
I thought, 'That's the biggest wave I've ever seen!'
It was the pie piper who had led the strawberries to the bakery.
Why are gay men so well dressed?
They didn't spend all that time in the closet doing nothing.
Why are parrots so good at imitations? They love parrot-y! (parody)
Smokers Are Productive, But Death Cuts Efficiency
“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on.”
– Maxwell Maltz
What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
A shoe.
You have the prettiest smile I have ever seen.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
What did the leopard say after eating his owner? Man, that hit the "spot."
Company coming?
And your house is a big mess?
Just put on lipstick.
He is a humble husband. Unlike others, he never blows his crumpet after making breakfast for his wife everyday.
"Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world."
- Rebecca West
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat minor.
If my love were music, you'd be the most beaituful lyrics in the songbook
Did you hear the joke about the roof?
Never mind, it’s over your head.
I hope you know CPR, baby because you take my breath away.
There are only two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.
Why was the crab embarrassed?
Because the sea weed.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
I'd cut the grass but it's against the lawn.
“I am hungary.”
“Maybe you should czech the fridge.”
“I’m russian to the kitchen.”
“Is there any turkey?”
“We have some, but it’s covered in greece”
“ew, there’s norway I’d eat that!”
I get a real kick out of you.
Did you hear about the shampoo shortage in Jamaica? It's dread-full.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
Man wins award after he died eating appetizers at a Mediterranean restaurant
It was a Post-Hummus award.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack?
The best of thymes, the worst of thymes.
Tigers are like army soldiers. They both grow up to earn some stripes.
Who cleans the bottom of the ocean? A Mer-Maid
Why can’t a legless skeleton win an argument?
They don’t have a leg to stand on.
Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.
Robert Benchley
I love you in the mornings.
You hold me tight and ask for five more minutes.
Then when it’s time to go, you don’t let go.
I start to stress and tell you to get dressed.
Dog socks,
Slippers,
Underwear,
Athletic shorts,
Polo shirt.
You are a sight to see.
But I love you most, in the mornings.
"Oh, I wanna dance with some bunny, with some bunny who loves me."
If you were a fruit you'd be a fineapple.
Go to BabaMail
