"Oh, I wanna dance with some bunny, with some bunny who loves me."
All I want is to fill that vacuum in your heart.
“When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.”
A beaver's experience in college deep-ends on if they go to the best university.
“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino
What Twix do you have up your sleeve that makes me love you?
What is an elf’s favorite kind of birthday cake?
Shortcake!
I tried to open a bag of Lays but it exploded all over me.
I've had a chip on my shoulder ever since.
Girl, we must be a bipartite graph, because I just thought of an efficient algorithm for finding an optimal matching for the two of us.
I won’t let you slip through my Butter Fingers.
What is a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai tree.
How long did it take Lancelot to cross the road?
All knight.
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
I didn't think I was a snowman, but you just made my heart melt
Hey baby, my body's like Ontario. Yours to discover.
What do you call a mouse with no balls? Optical. What is a mouse's favorite record? 'Please cheese me'!
Do you know what is the favorite key of the astronauts?
The Spacebar.
What did the boy without hands get for his birthday?
Nobody knows, he hasn't got the package open yet.
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off.
Do you know what's on the menu tonight, girl?
Me 'n' U.
What stays on the ground but never gets dirty? Shadow.
When astronauts die, the local papers run an orbituary.
Girl you are like the sweet song of a choir.
The only thing hotter than your body is the sun.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
Roses are red, bananas are yellow, wanna go out with a nice little fellow?
I banged my head on a low bridge.
Would have been ok if viaduct.
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
What has no pants and screams like a bear? A bear.
"Bee"
A bee comes tapping at my screen,
Buzzing, bumping, sounding mean.
Bouncing, pushing, acting wired,
With no thought of getting tired.
¨I could say, “Dear bee, what is it?
Would you like to come and visit?”
But I feel his anger’s keen.
So I’m glad I have a screen!
– Denise Rodgers
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
“I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.”
- Walt Disney
What do you call an American Bee?
A USB.
My buddy asked me "if you could kill anyone in history, who would it be?"
I said I probably wouldn't kill anyone in history, but Pete in math is bloody annoying sometimes.
How do you keep a goat from charging?
You take his credit card away!
What clothes do rainbows wear? Thunderpants.
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
“My nickname is ‘Mom’, but my full name is ‘Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom’.”
Unknown
Are you a drum? Because my heart beats for you.
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
It’s a good thing I have my library card because I am totally checking you out.
There was an Old Person of Cheadle,
Who was put in the stocks by the beadle
For stealing some pigs,
Some coats, and some wigs,
That horrible person of Cheadle.
Walked into a restroom and saw an "Out of order" sign on a urinal.
It's going to be tough to move all these urinals to get them back in the right order....
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert? Cause he was stuffed.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
Mom: Why did you shave the peaches!
Dad: The recipe asked for nectarines.
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
I’m throwing a COVID-19 party this weekend.
None of you are invited.
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