This is snow laughing matter!
Why did the cow go right up to the spaceship? To see the Mooooooooooon.
The baby beaver sang a song about the river in a video for his friends. He had a good flow.
Why did the principal bring Clam Chowder to school? For the Soup-erintendent.
Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.
“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”
— Oprah Winfrey
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
If you were a vegetable, you'd be a CUTE-cumber.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Keith!
Keith who?
Keith me, my thweet preenth!
If you travel to the future and get decapitated
You'd be ahead of your time
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
When does Oliver Stone eat ice cream? Any Given Sundae.
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
What is a wise, old priest's favorite kitchen appliance?
The deep friar.
What do cannibals eat for dessert?
Chocolate covered aunts.
What do you call an old person with really good hearing?
Deaf defying.
It was reported that a tiger recently exploded in the forest fire. They say it was a Royal Bang-al Tiger.
People with 20-20 vision..
Why you didn't warn us before??
The only thing hotter than your body is the sun.
What are the best sandwiches to serve at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Paddy melts!
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
How did the pine propose to the apple? With a pineapple ring.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.
Spread it thick, say it quick!
Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.
Spread it thicker, say it quicker!
Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.
Don’t eat with your mouth full!
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Count Duckula.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
You are like my dentures.
I cannot smile without you.
Who is a snake’s favorite actor?
Humphrey Boa-gart.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?
It's a buccaneer
I put some salt on my mobile. Now it’s a saxaphone.
Why did the beaver cross the river? To get to the other side of the river.
My love, you are getting up there
Your age is climbing high
I am confident that I should stop talking
Or I may surely die!
Age is just a number,
Or so that’s what they say
And even though you are getting older,
I love you anyway.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
My mixer broke down today. I'm very sad to part with it, I couldn't have whisked for a better friend.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
What do you call someone who owns a boat dealership?
A Sailsmen.
I once had a gerbil named Bobby,
Who had an unusual hobby.
He chewed on a cord,
and now -- oh my lord,
now all that's left is a blobby.
Oh my beloved belly button.
The squidgy ring in my midriff mutton.
Your mystery is such tricky stuff:
Why are you so full of fluff?
(Richard Leavesley)
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
As soon as I saw your face, I knew you weren’t just the average Jo
On what radio station would you hear Bob Dill-on?
Vlasic rock.
There was a Young Lady of Parma,
Whose conduct grew calmer and calmer;
When they said, 'Are you dumb?'
She merely said, 'Hum!'
That provoking Young Lady of Parma.
What do you call a skeleton's favorite singer?
Pelvis Presley.
Are you a singularity? Not only are you attractive, but the closer I get to you, the faster time seems to slip by.
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people
Then the grenade exploded.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
There are many grounds religious children can practice their soccer skills. However, most of them love the prayground.
Go to BabaMail
