What is a cat's favorite color in the rainbow? Purrrrrple of course.
What goes up when the rain comes down? An umbrella.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What do gnomes love to sing while gardening?
Gnome Worry, Bee Happy.
Remember me? Oh I'm sorry how would you know me, we've met only in my dreams.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
"I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough." — Russell Brand
What happened when the koala tripped and fell in a crowded restaurant? He got embearassed.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages? He was a man of many cultures.
There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.
Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
What song did Kenny Rogers write after his cowboy boot broke?
“You picked a fine time to leave me, Loose Heel.”
Kicking Baby Considered Healthy
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
You must be the one for me… Since my selectively permeable membrane let you through.
“Life is like pocket money. You shouldn't spend it all in one place.”
― Julian Talbot
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
I've just watched a T.V. documentary about beavers.
It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
The favourite day of the week for wolves is moonday.
What do you call a detective from the Reformation?
Martin Sleuther.
Two tiny tigers take two taxis to town.
Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ? In the dark!
What did one crow say to the other after the party?
We were raven.
A ship load of red paint crashed into a ship load of blue paint. The crews were marooned.
How do nurses and doctors keep people from lying about their medical history?
They use the de-FIB-rillator.
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
Where do math teachers normally like to go on summer vacation?
Times Square.
Who is the penguins favourite aunt?
Aunt Arctica
What do you call a gangsta snowman? Froze-T
A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf clubs. Seeing the astonished look on her face, he calmly said, "Well, you said I had to choose, right?"
What temperature do you set a toy oven?
Faux hundred degrees.
"You don't pay taxes ― they take taxes."
― Chris Rock
Is it me or the nature of money,
That's odd and particularly funny.
But when I have dough,
It goes quickly, you know,
And seeps out of my pockets like honey.
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot!
How do you ask a dinosaur to lunch? Tea Rex?
Do you know how deeply I love you?
So deeply I don’t even need to finish this poem or even make it rhyme!
Why an astronaut can be said similar to a football player? They both strive for touchdowns!
Why does the dolphin kingdom never go to war?
Because it would defeat the porpoise.
What do you call it when the preacher passes gas during his sermon?
A blast from the pastor.
I lost a cooking challenge once for not completing the dish.
I ran out of thyme.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
“The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.”
- Charles De Gaulle.
Theatre - the one place it doesn't pay to read between the line.
Don’t come to France without any Monet.
"I just can't take the bad lovemaking anymore".
Why can't the bankrupt Hindu complain? He's got no beef.
Go to BabaMail
