Many people think that when warm droplets of water in the air are rapidly cooled it forms fog.
But it’s actually a common mist-conception.
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
A blonde and a brunette were jumping off a building. Who jumped first? The brunette. The blonde had to ask for directions...
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Rabbit.
Rabbit who?
Rabbit up carefully, it's a present!
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
What do you call a SWAT team of alligators?
Gator-raid.
What is the dish that likes using the light switch?
StrogONOFF
Two friends were hanging out. One asks the other: "Hey, do you know about the famous detective that can't do bowel movements?"
The other friend replies: "No sh** Sherlock, of course I do!"
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken ribcage?
His heart wasn’t in it.
"From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."
Do you know which the most favourite type of fruit of trees is? The pine – apple.
Q: What do you call a scary berry?
A: A boo-berry.
"Love is blind; friendship tries not to notice."
— Otto von Bismarck
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
- Hey, graduate student Minotaur, what are you up to today?
- Not much, just working on my Theseus.
A guy named Bart walks into a bar, he immediately gets shot and dies. Who killed him?
The Bartender.
I was waiting at the airport baggage carousel, and noticed that everyone else had a better bag than me.
It was ....the worst case scenario.
What did the librarian say to the beaver who wanted to read a help book? You can try by-rowing it.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Italy!
Italy who?
Italy all over in the morning.
I’d love to spend some time Matthew
What did Hillary Clinton say when Bill wanted a new Saxophone?
"Not until you get rid of that HarMonica."
As soon as I saw your face, I knew you weren’t just the average Jo
If Megan Fox is a cake, then what is Amanda Bynes? A fruitcake.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Gladys
Gladys who?
Gladys Friday, finally the weekend starts!
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
You can be the queen of my kingdom.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
“Yoga class? I thought you said ‘pour a glass’.” – Unknown
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.”
Steven Wright
Husband: "These pears a perfect right now."
Me: "Would you say they're 'pear-fect'?"
What did the artist tell his greatest nemesis? I challenge you to a doodle!
What do we call a deer that wears a mask and refuses to tell its name?
“Anony – moose.”
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
I've got something to tell you that I think you ought to know, That my eyes are on you baby.
Will you let me be the avocado in your turkey sandwich?
It's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?
Nurse: No change yet.
You know, I didn't kiss my wife until I was married...
because she wasn't my wife until we were married.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Silverware?!
I hope my love for you is arterial because I don’t want it to be all in vein.
I got sick when I lost one of my ear buds.
It was mono.
What sound does it make when an ogre eats a witch for breakfast?
Snap cackle n' pop
Go to BabaMail
