What do volleyball players like in bed? Kinky sets.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
When doing laundry, the mother wolf accidentally fell into the washing machine. It became a wash and wearwolf.
“Sleeping bags are the most soft tacos of the bear’s world.”
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
What is the proper name for the ghost of a buffalo?
A booffalo.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
"Every morning is a battle between the superego and the id, and I am a mere foot soldier with mud and a snooze button on her shield."
— Catherynne Valente
Why did Santa go to a psychiatrist? He no longer believed in himself.
Flashier Great Tits Produce Stronger Sperm, Bird Study Shows.
“If you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them.” —Reese Witherspoon
Q: Why was the cloud so dark and stormy?
A: It was feeling mis-thunder-stood.
Where do sharks go when they want a vacation? Finland
Any proof that Saturn married more than once? Well, he do has a lot of rings.
I know a fun activity that can burn 500 calories an hour...
I accidentally pooped in my pants. Can I get into yours?
you must be augmented cause my love for you just won't diminish!
What's a camel's favorite part of a meal?
Desert!
Where does Sasquatch store his stuff while he's out on a hike?
In a big footlocker.
Excuse me, I believe one of your ribs belongs to me.
Why are crows the safest flying birds?
They're the most CAWtious.
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
Who is the most famous French skeleton?
Napolean Bone-aparte.
I bought an underwater craft in a bright green color.
It's sublime!
I've fallen in love with a pencil and we're getting married.
I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
Did you know if you hold a hard hat up to your ear....
you can hear the OSHA?
I used to play triangle in a reggae band but I had to give it up. It was just one ting after another.
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
Get me some cooling aloe gel, because you are making me as hot as a sunburn.
I am not your first love, but I would love to be the last.
A well-loved parrot died, and was digitally immortalized in a 3D rendering.
Polygon but not forgotten.
Where is the best place to get camel milk?
Straight from the Dromedairy.
“On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.”
Anonymous
You’re so attractive, the gravitational disturbance is causing my galactic center to elongate.
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
Everyone is getting so paranoid, and diving into conspiracy theories lately...
Must be something in the water.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
Why don't cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry
Why did God make only one Yogi Bear? Because when he tried to make a second one he made a Boo-Boo.
I’d like to throw away my old can, but my pusher friend here says he loves junk balls.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
Why can’t the engineer be electrocuted? Because he’s not a conductor!
What do you call a clever duck?
A wise quacker.
Why was the blonde woman talking into an envelope? She was trying to send a voicemail!
What do you call a fish with no eye?
FSH!
“The Thanksgiving tradition is, we overeat. ‘Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?’ ‘But we do that every day!’ ‘Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'”—Jim Gaffigan
How do you make a glow worm happy?
Cut off his tail, he’ll be de-lighted!
What do koalas do when they see social injustice happening in the world? They fight for ekoalaty!
My twins give me chills, dehydration, fatigue, fever, loss of appetite, and extreme diarrhea.
Their names are Sam and Ella.
A man fell into a vat of varnish and died
He had a terrible end but a lovely finish.
Go to BabaMail
