Who are the cousins of the werewolf?
What-wolf and When-wolf

What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks!

Heisenberg was wrong. I'm certain about what you're doing tonight.

After suffering weak gain at the poles, the National Transistor Party has been trying to energize their base.

What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.

Beavers are the best at getting things done on riverbanks. They have their own waves of working.

There was a fire in a yodelling school.
Everyone was to exit in an orderly orderly orderly fashion.

"Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious."
— William Feather

Someone took all my straw
What a Hay-nous act!

Is it hot in this Bikram studio, or is it just you?

Did you know that Beethoven's favorite fruit
Ba Na Na Naaa...Ba Na Na Naaa...

“In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.” - Rita Rudner

How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!

Emo bunnies just do not carrot all.

Baby, we need to get together before Christmas, because you can't spell "love" with No-el.

This dog is beautiful. I see he takes after his owner.

The reason orange juice doesn’t slide well on hard wood floors is Because of pulp friction.

I've been taking Viagra for my sunburn.
It doesn't cure it but it keeps the bed sheets off my legs at night.

What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River? The Amazon River actually has sails.

“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller

If you doubt whether bowling is a sport, get it from me, that yes, it is a sport, but for people who have talent to spare.

What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”

I am on the train and a light just came on saying the toilet is engaged.
Congratulations, toilet!

It’s so cold refrigerators are redundant.

Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car?
To get down to the nuts and bolts.

You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!

"People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy."

- Bob Hope

How did the herpetologist know he would be married soon? He caught the garter snake.

Stores are running out of toilet paper again.
They’re wiped out.

“Beaver do better work than the Corps of Engineers.”

- Mike Todd.

What did the girl say before making a big decision?

‘Do not pressure me.’

Why don't squirrels have any friends?
Because they drive everyone nuts.

I'm snow bored.

I stopped for lunch at a German restaurant, but unfortunately got food poisoning. It really was the wurst.

"Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning." — Clint Eastwood,

It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".

What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.

What did the artist say to his old friend? Let's clay in touch.

On Halloween night in the year 1804
Costumed as a witch, I knocked on a door
Now it's plain to see
A spell was cast on me
I became a frog, hopping on the floor

Years of Hallowed nights had all passed by
I was growing weary but had to try
to find a Prince to kiss
and the spell I could dis
Not one of the snooty royals would comply

I once sought the lips of a Prince Charming
Until fat frogs appeared to be swarming
All reaching for my lips
Such an apolcalypse
It was disgusting and quite alarming

In 1942 I trick-Or-Treated with Prince Chris
Who refused to smooch. Ah, I reminisce
So, I remained a frog
In a swamp, on a log
Because Chris said he was really a 'miss'

Halloween 2022, and what am I to do?
Over a century I've been sad and blue
A Prince to touch my lips
To stroke my curvy hips
Is there a man who'll kiss me among you?

- by Jenna Logan

It wasn’t my idea to get bidet...
But now I kinda like the little squirt.

"Even if the farmer intends to loaf, he gets up in time to get an early start."
- E.W. Howe

Which monster did the three bears catch sleeping?
Ghouldilocks!

What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.

What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels? A Stegosaurus on roller skates!

People really liked the new king's coronation day peach. He truly deserves the throne.

Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!

55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?

‘We are routing for you!’

My fridge is hotter than you.

What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”

What do a pregnancy test and hummus have in common?
They both require a chickpea.