What game do Ghost children play? Hide and shriek!
I wish I had some butter for them biscuits.
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
Q: Why is there so much wind inside a sports arena?
A: Because of all the fans.
What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One is a hunted stag and one is a stunted hag!
I want you. I knead you.
A spider saw a car he liked at the dealership and decided to take it out for a spin.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
Real weird rear wheels, real weird rear wheels, real weird rear wheels.
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it naked or homeless?
Do you have any tape? Because I'm totally ripped.
Defeat in soccer is only bitter if you swallow it.
What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
What does one volcano say to the other?
I lava you!
My mother always laughed at me when I told her my dream was to build a car out of spaghetti.
You should of seen her face when I drove pasta.
Mary didn’t miss a first serve the entire match. It was not her fault she lost.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
What did the flirty napking say to the dinner guests?
"Let me sit on your lap"
My 4-year-old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word, please.
which I think is poor for four.
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
Are you from Starbucks because I like you a latte!
Whats the difference between love and marriage?
Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
“Swiss cheese differs from Camembert by better ventilation.”
― Unknown
What did the stamp say to the envelope? Stick with me and we will go places!
What a is ghoul’s favorite pet?
Ghoulfish!
What do you call a ruler of Egypt that hunts whales with a folding bed?
Futon Harpoon
Why are fisherman so stingy?
Their jobs make them sel-fish!
I heard kissing is the language of love so...
Do you wanna start a conversation?
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.
“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now, and we don’t know where the heck she is.”—Ellen DeGeneres
My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.
In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.
I wish they’d change the scoring system, but tennis is set in its ways and doesn’t see the point.
You’re a cutie 3.14159265359
What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
Marsh-mole-ows
I have a cat
A real fat cat
My cat is all black
My black fat cat
It is a cat with a knack
A true fact about my cat
My fat black cat
She has a knack to catch a rat
My all black cat brought me the rat
This is why my cat is a fat black cat
So rats watch your back
From my cat with the knack
Or you will become a snack for my fat black cat
(Colleen Laforme)
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Why did the ice cream truck break down? Because of the Rocky Road.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
What did the police arrest the hospital patient for?
He was under cardiac arrest.
My dad always said, “Find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.”
“She knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them.”
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
Yo girl are you the 29th state added to America?
Because Iowanna be with anybody else
When the ghost family got in their car, the dad ghost told the kids to fasten their sheet-belts.
Don't give up at this stage, just keep cawing on, you will do great.
Why did the blonde skier only wear one boot?
Channel 7's weatherman said there was a 50% chance of snow.
Who needs a map when one can Rome freely in your beautiful eyes?
Where did the computer go to dance? To a disc-o.
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