Want to ge together sometime and make Double Trouble?
“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams
What medicine do you give to sick ants?
Antibiotics.
Q: What’s a nectarine?
A: A peach with balding problems.
What goes eek, eek, bang?
A mouse in a minefield!
There was an odd fellow named Gus,
When travelling he made such a fuss.
He was banned from the train,
Not allowed on a plane,
And now travels only by bus.
Violinist Caught following a String of Robberies.
Why shouldn't you kiss anyone on January 1st?
Because it's only the first date
I read a bunch of news articles dealing with lightning strikes recently.
I'm trying to keep myself knowledgeable about current events.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous.
I see a few new faces here this week and I must say I am very disappointed.
I wish I was a pronoun so I could be the direct object of your affection!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
Why did the doctor tell the nurse to walk past the pill cupboard quietly?
So she wouldn’t wake the sleeping pills.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What do you think walking on the moon is like?
Not very impactful.
Ever heard of French Donuts?
They’re the Beigne of my existence.
“Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
Groucho Marx
"Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up." - John Wagner
What is Beethoven doing now?
De-composing.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
If you do bowling and for some reason you can’t hear a pin drop, something could be wrong with your bowling.
Mom: Why did you shave the peaches!
Dad: The recipe asked for nectarines.
Why was the well done steak a terrible gossip? It wasn't juicy enough!
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
You seem to be traveling at the speed of light because time always seems to stop when I look at you.
What do Santa’s elves cook with in the kitchen?
A u-tinsel.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
I've been on a real hummus kick lately, so as I came home from work tonight, my sister says to me "You're always bringing home hummus now." To which I replied, "Hummus where the heart is!"
What did the painter say to the wall? Another crack like that and I'll have to plaster you!
Love me till ice cream.
There was an Old Man of the West,
Who wore a pale plum-coloured vest;
When they said, 'Does it fit?'
He replied, 'Not a bit!'
That uneasy Old Man of the West.
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue.
What did the orange do the night before the exam?
He put his nose to the “g-rind-stone” and read the entire textbook.
As soon as you find someone who has bees, marry them.
That’s how you know they're a keeper!
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling.
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
A kitchen knife and fork had a race. Who won? Neither, it ended in a drawer.
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
Should a gun company rename themselves "Question"?
That's a loaded Question
If tomatoes are a fruit
Then ketchup is a smoothie.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What’s the difference between a healthy rabbit and an odd rabbit? One is a fit bunny, and the other’s a bit funny!
Go to BabaMail
