How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An animal who never forgets to eat its carrots.
I'd make like Jacob and work seven years for you to be my bride.
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
There was an Old Man of Leghorn,
The smallest that ever was born;
But quickly snapped up he
Was once by a puppy,
Who devoured that Old Man of Leghorn.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
Where do astronauts go for lunch?
Apollo Loco.
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
Ron White
Scientists got bored watching the earth turn, so after 24 hours...
They called it a day.
Time to celery-brate.
Is this the bus stop?
Because I'm here to pick you up!
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
Did you hear about the banana who went to the doctor's because he wasn't peeling very well?
“Arguing with a fool proves there are two.”
– Doris M. Smith
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
Today I went to the bee store
And I wanted 12 bee's but when I checked out the cashier gave me 13 and I asked him why he gave me 13 instead of 12 and he said it was a free bee.
Due to covid most exotic dancers have been furloughed.
Basically, they’ve been stripped of their source of income.
A friend of mine was taking a bath when he realised he wasn’t a very good burglar.
Whats the distant cousin of the werewolf?
The way over therewolf.
The best way to get back at someone is to push them in the snow; after all, revenge is a dish best served cold.
What does the mummy parrot say to her baby? Beak-areful!
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
"Eggs-cuse me."
Why was the crow upset about his job? The HR fired the crow with no caws.
What was the ice cream cone’s naughty pick up line?
Wanna lick me?
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
What did the elephant say to the naked man? "It's cute but can you pick up peanuts with it?"
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
Son: does Easter Bunny set out 12 eggs in the field to search for?
Dad: no he dozen’t.
Billy turned in his art project and his teacher said, “This piece of paper has nothing on it?”
Billy replied “I know, I drew a blank.”
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
Hey girl, are you on the endangered species list? 'Cause baby you are one of a kind!
"Dad, what's it called if I like both boys and girls," the buffalo said.
"I believe would be a bi-son," his father replied.
Why do people like working at the Red Lobster?
It helps them get out of their shell.
Did you hear about the secret guild of bakers? They say that they only trade recipes on a knead to know basis.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commen-tater.
“The smallest snowstorm on record took place an hour ago in my back yard. It was approximately two flakes. I waited for more to fall, but that was it.”
― Richard Brautigan
A cheese factory exploded in France...
da brie is everywhere.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I’m missing half of my heart and so are you.
It’s so cold you could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
These ideas are too shellow, they won’t be of any help.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
In on the ground flora.
Excuse me, I just farted over there. Can I stand here with you?
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
England is the wettest country because many monarchs reigned there for many years.
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
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