When you cross an orange and a bunny, you will end up with a pip squeak.
I told my mom there was a crack in her mug...
She said, ”No, only tea.”
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
I can out here for an easy run, but you make my heart do speed work
Can you tell me the oxidation state of this atom? If you can’t, then you can tell me your phone number instead?
Since all the hot ones are already taken, this is going to be your lucky night!
What's faster - lightning, light, or diarrhea?
Diarrhea. Because I ran like lightning to the bathroom, turned on the light, but the diarrhea was already there.
Knock, knock.
Who’s There?
Impatient cow.
Impatient cow wh-?
Mooooo!
Physics student asks to go to bathroom.
Professor asks "Liquid, Solid or Gas?"
I lost my grip, and my beer shattered on the floor.
This Corona outbreak is really getting out of hand.
How do you hide a $100 bill from a televangelist?
Place it in their bible.
What does a duck that’s made of avocado say?
Guac.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
Looks like I’ve Joshu-won the best match of the day
Did you know vampires aren’t real?
Unless you Count Dracula.
Will you come to my place? You can sure lower my heating bill with your hotness.
I just beat my friend in a Wild West themed art race!
I was quicker to the draw.
Affogato? Afforgeto where I am when I'm with you.
The peach sports organization rended a commercial peach for a game of peach ball.
How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change it, and 5 to sing about how good the old one was.
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
Why did the viper, viper nose?
Because the adder, adder hankerchief.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One’s really heavy, the other’s a little lighter.
I can't get my wife to try Mediterranean food.
She doesn't like hummus, which is a naan-starter.
I poisoned my wifes pita dip.
The police charged me with hummus-cide.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
I ran out of toilet paper last week, tried the closest thing I could find: the newspapers. Now the realisation has kicked in...
The Times are really Rough!
A certain Leafs right-winger was sued by the Louisiana government. He was
Owen N'awlins.
“You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.” – Jerry Seinfeld
Sorry, but I can only be with you twice.
That's Now...and Forever.
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
What kind of hotdogs do ghouls like best?
Halloweiners!
How can a camel walk the desert without getting hungry? Because of all the sandwhiches there.
"Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world."
- Rebecca West
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
Why shouldn’t you let kids watch band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.
Rebel without a Claus.
I was thinking of making an investment on a new farming venture that feeds marijuana to cows instead of grass.
The steaks will be too high for sure.
How come we choose from just two people for president and 50 for Miss America?
Why did the leaf go to the doctor? It was feeling green!
When one tree asked another how it was doing in November, it replied, "I am pine!"
Your fur is red, so beautiful, like an angel in disguise.
If you come with me, I'll show you a hard day's night.
What is a car’s favourite sport?
Soc-car.
After checking my poor results, the art teacher shouted, "Never in a vermilion years have I seen such poor grades"!
“I put all my money into taxes. They’re the only thing that’s sure to go up!”
Why didn't the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors? Because she had no guts!
Go to BabaMail
