The dock keeps floating above the river because of the pier- pressure.
What do you call a nut who works hard? One who burns the mid-nut oil.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
I like you a latke!
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
Have you wondered what made the strawberry such a smoothie? It is the yoghurt of course.
What do you call a small mother in the UK?
Minimum.
"Driving fast on the track does not scare me. What scares me is when I drive on the highway I get passed by some idiot who thinks he is Fangio."
– Juan Manuel Fangio
"How do you compare apples and oranges?
By their nutritional value."
- Marshall Elizer
I “lub” you.
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
A.A Milne
Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.
Let's do lunge together
What kind of ant is good at math?
An account-ant.
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
How do you get a raise at the bread factory?
Butter up your boss.
What is the most sophisticated class of bread?
The upper crust.
Crooked teeth are criminal!
Luckily a few years behind bars usually straightens them out.
My wife ordered one of those new heavy blankets but delivery took forever...
She says it was worth the weight.
Where do otters keep their money? In the river bank!
Being in a nudist colony probably takes all the fun out of Halloween.
Are you looking for a shallow relationship?
Whale, hello there.
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
Dear Winter — I'm breaking up with you. Summer is hotter than you.
Which car does the Mensa student drive?
A Smart car.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
If they swam in pepper water they would sneeze.
Can we still share a netflix account?
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
You'd make for some real smooth sailing
“Climbing to the top of the mountain is fun, but everything is just downhill from there.”
The walnut was not good at sports but did really well with his macadamia at school.
I'm from the Outback and I'd like to take you out back.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
“To a small child, the perfect grandad is unafraid of big dogs and fierce storms but absolutely terrified of the word “boo”.—Robert Breault
Aren't you tired? Because you've been galloping through my mind all evening.
If you can tell me the difference between Flag Day and the 4th of July, I will buy you a drink.
My bag of fruit snacks had all grapes
Today’s gonna be a grape day!
What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus!
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
“Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.”
— Punit Ghadge
What happens when you seriously overstuff yourself with turkey at Thanksgiving?
You have a few slices of pumpkin pie.
What did the German clock maker say to the clock that only went "tick tick tick"?
Ve haf vays to make you tock...
What is the lightest house a real estate seller sells?
A lighthouse, of course!
While teaching about the Mongol Empire in History class, our teacher told us, "If anyone Khan, Genghis Khan."
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
Near an ear, a nearer ear, a nearly eerie ear.
Go to BabaMail
