This movie is not the only thing in the room that's feature-length.
I’m feelin’ pine.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
When the teacher got frustrated because the students weren't paying attention to the class about Isaac Newton, he exclaimed, "Don't you understand the gravity of this situation?"
I tried buying a car from a religious person and got a lemon!
I suppose you get what you prayed for..
Man: "Wow, you're tall! How's the weather up there?"
Woman: "It's raining." and pour a glass on him.
How does the sun say hi to the moon?
With a heat wave!
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, what do you get?
Arrested.
I'm pretty sure I was blind before I met you.
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his parents were in a jam!
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
Why couldn’t the donut reach enlightenment? Because it was already holy.
My son is a man trapped in a woman’s body..
He’ll be born in March.
If there's a bee in my hand, then what's in my eye?
Beauty.
Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.
What kind of monkey likes seafood?
A shrimpanzee.
What does an anteater like on its pizza?
Ant-chovies.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
There was an Old Person of Mold,
Who shrank from sensations of cold,
So he purchased some muffs,
Some furs and some fluffs,
And wrapped himself from the cold.
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
What has four legs and one arm?
A rottweiler at a park.
You're like my favourite chocolate bar - half sweet and half nuts!
Love is blind.
Marrying a man, on the other hand, is a real eye opener.
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
What did hear about the two bats meeting?
It was love at first bite!
Happy St. Cat-rick’s day!
When I asked my Teacher in History class if she could tell us more about Napoleon's origin, she replied,"'Course I can!"
How do you greet a skeleton in france?
"Bonejour."
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
What do you call the process of naming the various species of dwarves, faeries, trolls, etc?
Binomial gnomenlature.
"Gray hair is God’s graffiti." – Bill Cosby
What do you call a gassy cowboy?
Wyatt Burp.
What is a car’s favourite movie character?
Aerial from The Little Mermaid.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
What symbolizes a goat’s family tree?
A goat of arms.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What do you call a boy and girl playing blues music? The battle of the saxes.
Coming to Theaters: The thrilling tale of a man who cooked biographical books like turkey on Thanksgiving.
*Baste on a True Story...*
“Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.” – Jon Stewart
“The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes.”
– Winston S. Churchill
A nose visited its home town.
It was overcome with nostril-gia.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
There are 4 rings men need for marriage - The first is an engagement ring, then a wedding ring, then suffe-ring and endu-ring.
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
Some might say the violinists in an orchestra don’t do much.
They just fiddle around.
You know you’re getting old when you stop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
George Burns
My frinds call me Legato, since I'm so smooth
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Go to BabaMail
