They figured it was the best way to break the ice.
Do you want some raisin? How about some jam to go with it.
Bananas, for breakfast, are such an a-peeling choice.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
If you were a math test, I would cheat on you.
“You find out who your real friends are when you’re involved in a scandal.”
— Elizabeth Taylor
Who in the hell names their son “Tiger” ?
Only people in the Woods’
When the going gets tough, let the pins fall where they may.
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
Did you hear Ireland is the fastest-growing country in Europe?
Its population is always Dublin.
Is your tent erect yet or do you need help with that?
I found out yesterday that the Mexican dish ghosts like the most is a boo-ritto.
Knock Knock
Who's There?
I eat grape.
I eat grape who?
You eat grey poo!
The garden where only white cars are driven can be called a garden of white carnation.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
What is the difference between archeology and grave robbing?
About 200 years
Does your Dad own Snapple, because you're made of the best stuff on earth?
If Arnold has $5 and you have $5, you both have $5.
I always get pickle and chutney mixed up.
It makes me chuckle.
Cutie, you must be a red blood cell because you take the oxygen away from my lungs and send it straight to my heart.
What do crows read? Cawmics.
What does a pizza say when it wants to cuddle?
Fold me close.
Opposing coaches facing the Leafs in the 60s and 70s knew that Dave was the
one to Keon.
Where do sheep go to get haircuts? To the Baa Baa shop!
My computer has a language
That is foreign to me
It speaks of RAM and Gigabytes
And what could ROM be!
I don’t understand the Windows
My computer says are there
Nor the Gem Clip at the side of my page
Wth eyes that blink and stare!
I don’t unerstand the cures
That maintenance wizards do
It’s called defragmenter, span disk,
And virus cleaning too!
Yet, computer and I work hand and eye
With a mouse to translate
The tasks that I want it to do
While it points out my mistakes!
(Burmah M. Teague)
It's easier to prepare meals with this new cookware-wolf.
“Dear winter, I’m breaking up with you. I think it’s time I start seeing other seasons. Summer is hotter than you.”
I couldn't chair less!
Why don't squirrels have any friends?
Because they drive everyone nuts.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
I actually prefer that life give me lemons so that I can make a pretty lady like you some lemonade on a hot Summer's day.
What is a 2000 pound skeleton called
A skeleTon.
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
I really liked learning about displacement in Physics.
It's pretty straight to the point.
Why isn't your daughter married? Because a gourd man is hard to find.
"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others."
So yesterday I saw a bottle of ketchup steal a bottle of mustard
'Twas saucepicious
How does Chuck Norris sharpen his blades?
By shaving with them.
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
What do dinosaurs put on their pizza? Tomato-saurus
Who granted the fish a wish?
The fairy codmother.
Are you teh Easter Bunny? Because you’ve spent the entire day hopping around in my head.
I was fired from an insect repellent company for being dyslexic, so I smashed all their computers.
There’s no files on me.
What do the laws of physics and the president of Russia have in common?
You can't choose them.
V
V
Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
What if someone made raisins with juice in them
That would be grape.
A tree's limbs fell off in a storm, now it's an amputree.
Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away the W's.
Go to BabaMail
