Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I really messed up
Now what can I do?
Did you hear about the soldier who got struck by lightning?
He had to be honorably discharged.
What should you do if you see a blue banana?
Try and cheer it up.
How long does it take to brew Chinese tea? Oolong time.
When facing trouble in the workspace, all the colorists rallied together by saying, "Come what grey, we will overcome all obstacles!"
Strawberries are considered to be the most bullied fruits because they're always getting picked on.
Who’s a llama’s favorite actor?
Al Pacacino.
What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
Anything you want, he can’t hear you.
What did the artist tell his greatest nemesis? I challenge you to a doodle!
Why did Chuck Norris wear knee pads?
He never liked Bruised Knee.
After completing the deadline just in the nick of time, the artist breathed a cyan of relief.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
What song do tornados like?
“The Twist.”
Child’s Death Ruins Couple’s Holiday
You should go in the water, cuz you're so hot you're on fire!
Writers are cold because they’re surrounded by drafts.
Why did the ice cream truck break down? Because of the Rocky Road.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
What do you call a Blind Dinosaur's Dog? Do-ya-think-he-saurus-rex.
I’ve found that dressing up like this has truly been an en-witching experience.
Flaked tuna is a great product for both campers, and dolphins
It's truly useful for all in tents, and porpoises.
It’s so cold a glacier was seen heading slowly down the main street of our town.
What's a werewolf's favorite mode of transport?
A lunar cycle.
Sorry, did you fart? You blow me away!
Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window? Because he wanted to see time fly!
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
My dad was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
I have an uncle, once removed.
I used to make extra money by selling illegal tennis equipment on the side, but I was approached by some thugs who told me to stop.
I guess they control the Tennis Racket around here.
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
What do ghosts and monsters drink after scaring people?
Ghoul-Aid.
If you were here, Abby all over you
How do you call a man who can cook an egg on his head?
pan o man.
What do you call an alligator that makes others fight?
An instigator.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you! and I want the whole world to know it.
“A pizza slice a day keeps sadness away.”
― Jet Paacal
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
What do you call an Incarcerated late night TV show host?
Jimmy Felon.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
How about we skip the hors d oeuvres and head straight for the digestif?
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
What do you call an artistic piece of furniture?
A drawer
How do you make soup rich? Add 24 carrots.
How do you measure the heaviness of a red hot chili pepper?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
Why can't we make jokes about the cutlery incident?
It's too spoon.
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
She said, "Don't go bacon my heart."
I told her, "I couldn't if I fried."
What do you call a pastry that is a priest?
A Holy Donut!
After dinner my wife asked me if I could clear the table.
I needed a run up, but I made it.
If you are wondering about the fuzziest character in the gaming world, well it is definitely Princess Peach.
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