I asked what the lion in my wardrobe was doing.
He said it was Narnia business
You can catch a lot of flies with honey
But you'll catch more honeys being fly.
On one bright Sunday morning, one long lost wolf finally met his longtime classmate. “So, Howl’s it goin’!”
Alcohol is a perfect solvent
It dissolves marriages, families and careers.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
Are you the optic chiasm because you turned my world around.
When would an apple be not an apple? When it is a pineapple!
I got tear-free soap in my eye.
It hurts like heck but at least I’m not crying.
If I had a garden I’d put your tulips and my tulips together
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
"Patience is not a virtue for Aries. The phrase Speak now or forever hold your peace, was probably created by an impatient Aries."
— Dr. Atara
Hey baby, wanna witness a gamma ray burst?
“Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.”
― Unknown
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
Are you into salads? Because I think I'm falling in lovage.
When I read Philippians 4:8, I think about you.
“Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off.”
- Ralph Bus.
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
Why was the man who hung tennis equipment from his ears arrested?
He was found guilty of racket-ear-ring
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
What are sophisticated realtors known for?
Constantly telling you all about proper tea.
A nose visited its home town.
It was overcome with nostril-gia.
I dig you a hole lot.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
Dolphins don't have accidents.
They do everything on porpoise.
It's so cold that the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
Chester Cheetah chews a chunk of cheep cheddar cheese.
“Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
My wife is furious at me for buying an expensive make-your-own-perfume kit.
But it just made scents to me.
Which dinosaur slept all day ? The dino-snore!
Why did he skeleton go to the barbecue? To get another rib.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Baby owl.
Baby owl who?
Baby owl see you later at my place.
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
Why do ants work so hard?
They are all serv-ants.
What did the therapist say to the pineapple? Look on the bright side.
My mum used to feed me alphabet soup when I was a kid
She insisted on me telling everyone that I loved it.
I didn't really, she was just putting words in my mouth
Clean clams crammed in clean cans.
I ordered the wrong kind of flowers online for Valentines Day.
Oops e-daisies.
Sherlock Holmes enters a room carrying a box of lemons
"Where'd you get those?" asks Watson.
"A lemon tree, my dear Watson. A lemon tree."
When you swat a mosquito on your arm
Its death is in vein.
“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino
I bought an old stereo.
My wife has her doubts, but I think it's a sound investment.
“If you start drinking now, Thanksgiving could be a lot of fun.” — Conan O’Brien
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
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