Why did the man with one hand cross the road? To get to the second hand shop.
Why did God make only one Yogi Bear? Because when he tried to make a second one he made a Boo-Boo.
What is a tree's favorite drink? Root beer!
Q: What is a dentist's favorite animal?
A: A molar bear!
How does a church congregation defend against an attack by Galactic Imperial Stormtroopers?
They use the pew, pew-pew pews.
I’m sick of martial arts.
I have kung flu.
What is brown and has a head and a tail but no legs? A penny.
What do you call two fat people having a chat? A heavy discussion
How many books can you put in an empty backpack? One! After that its not empty!
What scares a caterpillar?
A dog-erpillar!
Why can't a leopard hide? Because he's always spotted!
Q: What did the tooth say to the dentist as she was leaving?
A: Fill me in when you get back
Knock, knock
Who’s There?
Annie
Annie Who?
Annie thing you can do, I can do better.
What did the judge say to the dentist? Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.
Learning how to collect trash wasn’t hard.
I just picked it up as I went along.
What is brown and sticky?
A stick!
What do you call a horse that can't lose a race? Sherbet
What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn't move? The road!
Why didn't the 11 year old go to the pirate movie? because it was rated arrrrr!
What does a shark like to eat with peanut butter? Jellyfish!
Why is it so windy inside a stadium?
There are hundreds of fans.
Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
Why is Basketball such a messy sport? Because you dribble on the floor!
What has one horn and gives milk?
A milk truck.
How do you know when a bike is thinking?
You can see its wheels turning.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
What do you call a boy who finally stood up to the bullies? An ambulance.
What pet makes the loudest noise? A trum-pet!
Who do fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales.
Did you hear about the calendar thief? He got 12 months; they say his days are numbered
What did one elevator say to the other elevator? I think I'm coming down with something!
Question: What is the oldest animal?
Answer: The Zebra, it's still in black and white!
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What do you call the new girl at the bank? The Nutella!
What streets do ghosts haunt? Dead ends!
Did you hear the one about the geologist? He took his wife for granite so she left him What did Winnie The Pooh say to his agent? Show me the honey!
What kind of shoes do all spies wear? Sneakers.
Q: What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?
A: I hear the doctor is taking us out tonight!
How did the farmer mend his pants? With cabbage patches!
What's the first thing elves learn in school?
The "elf"-abet!
What do cats eat for breakfast? Mice Crispies!
What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.
What do you call a window that raps? 2PANEZ
Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school? Because they're all in High School!
What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck.
What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can’t tunafish.
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? "Where's Popcorn?"
What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!
What did the triangle say to the circle? Your pointless!
Did you hear about the guy who died when an axe fell on him? The police are calling it an axe-i-dent.
What vehicle has 4 wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
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