Why is England the wettest country? Because the queen has reigned there for years!
What kind of emotions do noses feel? Nostralgia. Why did the dog cross the road? To get to the "barking" lot!
What do you call a crushed angle? a rectangle
Why do sharks swim in saltwater?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
What is a tree's favorite drink? Root beer!
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped on chewing gum? He got stuck in Orbit.
What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!
What do cats eat for breakfast? Mice Crispies!
What did one math book say to the other?
I’ve got so many problems.
Teacher: Use a sentence that starts with "I"
Bobby: I is...
Teacher: No, Bobby. You should say "I am", never "I is".
Bobby: "I am the 9th letter of the alphabet."
What did the penny say to the other penny? We make perfect cents.
What kind of key opens a banana? A monkey!
How do you make an Octupus laugh? With ten-tickles
How do you know when a bike is thinking?
You can see its wheels turning.
What caused the airline to go bankrupt? Runway inflation.
What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
PRIME-mates.
What runs but doesn't get anywhere? A refrigerator.
What did the man say to the wall? One more crack like that and I'll plaster ya!
Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window? Because he wanted to see time fly!
Where do cows go on December 31st?
A moo year’s eve party.
What do you call a person that chops up cereal. a cereal killer.
What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits!
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.
What kind of driver never get a parking ticket? A screw driver
Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job? Because she couldn't control her pupils?
What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you?
Nacho cheese!
Why don’t you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
What did one plate say to the other? Dinners on me
What exam do young witches have to pass? A spell-ing test!
Q: What did the tooth say to the dentist as she was leaving?
A: Fill me in when you get back
Why did the man with one hand cross the road? To get to the second hand shop.
Why was the robot mad? People kept pushing its buttons.
What time is it when people are throwing pieces of bread at your head?
Time to duck.
Why is Basketball such a messy sport? Because you dribble on the floor!
Did you hear about the calendar thief? He got 12 months; they say his days are numbered
What kind of lunch do moms never prepare in the morning?
Their own.
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
What does one volcano say to the other?
I lava you!
What does Minnie Mouse drive?
A Minnie van!
Q: Did you hear the one about the virus?
A: Never mind, I don't want to spread it around.
What do you call a three-footed aardvark? a yardvark!
Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!
Why did the balloon burst? Because is saw a lolly pop.
Why is a baseball team similar to a muffin? They both depend on the batter.
Why is your foot more special than your other body parts? Because they have their own soul. What is heavy forward but not backward? Ton.
Why did the scientist go to the tanning salon? Because he was a paleontologist.
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will Let it go.
What do you get when you cross Sonic The Hedgehog and Curious George? 2 Fast 2 Curious
How do you organize a space party? You planet!
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