What do you get if you a cross a card game with a typhoon? Bridge over troubled water.
Knock knock…
Who’s there?
Voodoo.
Voodoo who?
Voodoo you think you are?
Q: Doctor, I keep hearing a ringing sound.
A: Then answer the phone!
What did one math book say to the other?
I’ve got so many problems.
What game does the sky love to play?
Twister.
How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path.
What did one plate say to the other? Dinners on me
What kind of bed does a mermaid sleep in? A water
Did you ever hear about that movie constipation? It never came out.
Q: What does a dentist do during an earthquake?
A: She braces herself!
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? He wanted to get to the bottom.
When I was young there were only 25 letters in the Alphabet. Nobody new why.
Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
Q: Why did the king go to the dentist?
A: To get his teeth crowned!
What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you?
Nacho cheese!
What bow can't be tied? A rainbow!
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? "Where's Popcorn?"
Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!
What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? A CAT-HAS-TROPHY! How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it!
What is the tallest building in the world? The library! It has the most stories!
Did you hear about the hairdresser? She dyed.
What do you call a European Bigfoot?
Bigmeter.
What do you call a crushed angle? a rectangle
Did you hear the joke about the roof?
Never mind, it’s over your head.
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear.
What is a tree's favorite drink? Root beer!
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his parents were in a jam!
Why did the daddy rabbit go to the barber?
He had a lot of little hares.
Why is your foot more special than your other body parts? Because they have their own soul. What is heavy forward but not backward? Ton.
What did one elevator say to the other elevator? I think I'm coming down with something!
Why didn’t the lamp sink?
It was too light.
What’s a snake’s strongest subject in school?
Hiss-tory.
Why is Basketball such a messy sport? Because you dribble on the floor!
What three candies can you find in every school? Nerds, DumDums, and smarties.
What kind of emotions do noses feel? Nostralgia. Why did the dog cross the road? To get to the "barking" lot!
Where do sheep go to get haircuts? To the Baa Baa shop!
What word looks the same backwards and upside down? Swims
When do you stop at green and go at red? When you're eating a watermelon!
Who earns a living driving their customers away? A taxi driver. What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise? LMAYO
Why did the computer break up with the internet? There was no "Connection".
What did the blanket say to the bed? Don't worry, I've got you covered!
Little Johnny's teacher said,
"Johnny, your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's."
"Did you copy hers?" she asked.
Johnny replied, "No, teacher, it's the same dog!"
Why did the insomniac man get arrested? He resisted a rest
What's easy to get into but hard to get out of? Trouble
What do you call a very religious person that sleep walks? a Roman Catholic
What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
PRIME-mates.
What kind of nut doesn’t like money?
Cash ew.
What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business!
Choose any number between 2 and 7. Multiply by 4 and add 3. Now reverse the digits and close your eyes.
Dark, isn’t it?
Go to BabaMail
