What do you call a snowman with a six pack? An abdominal snowman.
What goes up and down but doesn't move? The temperature!
How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
You rocket.
Why did Harry Potter throw away all his old potions?
They were past their hexpiration date!
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped on chewing gum? He got stuck in Orbit.
Why are teddy bears never hungry?
They’re always stuffed!
Who earns a living driving their customers away? A taxi driver. What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise? LMAYO
Why is England the wettest country? Because the queen has reigned there for years!
What did the stamp say to the envelope? Stick with me and we will go places!
What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.
What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear
Knock Knock
Who's There?
I eat grape.
I eat grape who?
You eat grey poo!
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it? Post Office!
What is brown and has a head and a tail but no legs? A penny.
What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck.
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a bogey in it.
What did the penny say to the other penny? We make perfect cents.
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
Whens the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty
What’s the most expensive kind of fish?
A gold fish.
What did they baby corn say to the mama corn?
Where’s pop corn?
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no-body to go with.
What’s Thanos’ favorite app to talk to friends?
Snap chat.
What kind of shoes do all spies wear? Sneakers.
What’s a snake’s strongest subject in school?
Hiss-tory.
What do you call an 80s synth pop band with a scoop of ice cream? Depeche a la Mode.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
What did the blanket say to the bed? Don't worry, I've got you covered!
What kind of berry has a coloring book? A crayon-berry
What do you get when you plant kisses? Tu-lips (two-lips)
What do cats eat for breakfast?
Mice krispies.
I went to the doctor with hearing problems. He said, "Can you describe the symptoms?"
I said, “Homer’s the big dude and Marge has blue hair...”
Why did Tony go out with a prune? Because he couldn't find a date!
Did you hear about the angry pancake? He just flipped.
Why is Basketball such a messy sport? Because you dribble on the floor!
Why did Goofy put a clock under his desk? Because he wanted to work over-time!
What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup? Firecrackers!
What do kids play when they can’t play with a phone?
Bored games.
Did you hear about the paper boy? He blew away
What kind of button won't unbutton? A bellybutton!
Did you hear about the vampire bicycle that went round biting people's arms off? It was a vicious cycle.
How do you know when a bike is thinking?
You can see its wheels turning.
What kind of nut doesn’t like money?
Cash ew.
Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
What did the triangle say to the circle? Your pointless!
Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? The scientists were brainstorming!
What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn't move? The road!
Batman walks into a superhero-only pool, he is quickly stopped by a guard, the guard points to a sign that says
"No swimming without supervision."
What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can’t tunafish.
Go to BabaMail
