What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? A. Milk and quackers!
What do you call a very religious person that sleep walks? a Roman Catholic
What did the snowman ask the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
What word looks the same backwards and upside down? Swims
What do you cal purple when it is being mean? Violent.
What's the first thing elves learn in school?
The "elf"-abet!
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs? Because the cow has the utter.
Who goes to the bathroom in the middle of a party? A party pooper.
Q: What did one tooth say to the other tooth?
A: Thar's gold in them fills!
What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you?
Nacho cheese!
Why do vampires seem sick?
They’re always coffin.
Why should you take a pencil to bed? To draw the curtains!
What is brown and sticky?
A stick!
What do you call a dentist in the army? A drill sergeant
What kind of bird sticks to sweaters? a Vel-Crow.
What do you call it when your nose is stuffy at the rodeo?
Cowboy Boogie.
What does Minnie Mouse drive?
A Minnie van!
Why did the insomniac man get arrested? He resisted a rest
What did the daddy chimney say to the baby chimney? You are to little to smoke!
Whens the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
What did one aspiring wig say to the other aspiring wig? I wanna get a head!
Whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can roast beef, but you cant pea soup!
What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickleback.
Q: What did the dentist get for an award?
A: A little plaque
Why is Basketball such a messy sport? Because you dribble on the floor!
Q: What is a dentist's favorite animal?
A: A molar bear!
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef Jerky.
How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
Why did the man with one hand cross the road? To get to the second hand shop.
What do you call leftover aliens? Extra Terrestrials.
What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? Every morning you'll rise and shine!
What was the seal's favorite subject in school?
ART ART ART!
Did you hear the joke about the germ? Never mind. I don't want to spread it around
Did you hear the score in the game between the ocean and the beach? It’s tide.
What kind of key opens the door on Thanksgiving? A turkey!
Which is the building is the largest? The library because it has the most stories.
What did the painter say to the wall? One more crack like that and I'll plaster you!
Q: When does a doctor get mad?
A: When he runs out of patients!
What runs but can't walk? The faucet!
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them
What do you call a man with no body and just a nose? Nobody nose.
Q: What did the tooth say to the dentist as she was leaving?
A: Fill me in when you get back
What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel.
What do you call a window that raps? 2PANEZ
Who cleans the bottom of the ocean? A Mer-Maid
What three candies can you find in every school? Nerds, DumDums, and smarties.
Why didn't the 11 year old go to the pirate movie? because it was rated arrrrr!
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