What game does the sky love to play?
Twister.
What did the tailor think of her new job? It was sew sew.
What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A private tutor.
Knock Knock
Who's There?
I eat grape.
I eat grape who?
You eat grey poo!
What did the policeman say to his tummy?
Freeze. You’re under a vest.
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them
What do you call a computer floating in the ocean? A Dell Rolling in the Deep.
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer!
Why do we never tell jokes about pizza?
They’re too cheesy.
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware? Idaho... Alaska!
Why did the giraffe get bad grades? He had his head in the clouds.
When do you stop at green and go at red? When you're eating a watermelon!
Did you hear about the two bed bugs who met in the mattress? They got married in the spring.
What kind of emotions do noses feel? Nostralgia. Why did the dog cross the road? To get to the "barking" lot!
What do you call a baby monkey? A Chimp off the old block.
Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
What do you call a gangsta snowman? Froze-T
Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs? Because the cow has the utter.
What dog keeps the best time? A watch dog.
What is brown and has a head and a tail but no legs? A penny.
What runs but doesn't get anywhere? A refrigerator.
Did you hear about that new broom? It's sweeping the nation!
How many books can you put in an empty backpack? One! After that its not empty!
Why did the robber take a bath? Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
Why did the girl bring lipstick and eye shadow to school? She had a make-up exam!
What's easy to get into but hard to get out of? Trouble
What did the tie say to the hat? You go on ahead and I'll hang around!
Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath? She still hasn't gotten all the hair off her tongue.
What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller.
What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.
How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
What do you call a dentist in the army? A drill sergeant
What kind of driver never get a parking ticket? A screw driver
Q: What did the dentist get for an award?
A: A little plaque
What do you call a South American girl who is always in a hurry? Urgent Tina
Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Because he was outstanding in his field.
What’s a good name for a detective?
Mr. E
What did the alien say to the garden? Take me to your weeder.
Q: What does a dentist do during an earthquake?
A: She braces herself!
Why did God make only one Yogi Bear? Because when he tried to make a second one he made a Boo-Boo.
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
Did you hear about the paddle sale at the boat store? It was quite an oar deal.
What did the painter say to the wall? One more crack like that and I'll plaster you!
Why are chefs so mean? They beat eggs and whip cream.
Q: Where does a boat go when it's sick?
A: To the dock!
What do you call a Bee who is having a bad hair day? A Frisbee.
How do billboards talk?
Sign language.
What do cats eat for breakfast?
Mice krispies.
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