What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and wooden engine? it wooden go!
What caused the airline to go bankrupt? Runway inflation.
When I was young there were only 25 letters in the Alphabet. Nobody new why.
What did the judge say to the dentist? Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.
What do you call a very rude bird?
A mockingbird!
What the difference between you and a calendar? a calendar has dates.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef Jerky.
What do you give a dog with a fever? Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog! What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon? A sour puss!
What do you call a bear with no socks on? Bare-foot.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time
Knock, knock
Who’s There?
Annie
Annie Who?
Annie thing you can do, I can do better.
What does Minnie Mouse drive?
A Minnie van!
What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa? A Clausterphobic
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped on chewing gum? He got stuck in Orbit.
"How do you shoot a killer bee?" "With a bee bee gun."
What’s the most expensive kind of fish?
A gold fish.
What do you call a person that chops up cereal. a cereal killer.
What do you call a frozen dog? A pupsicle.
Why is justice best served cold?
Because if it were warm, it would be justwater.
Did you hear about the vampire bicycle that went round biting people's arms off? It was a vicious cycle.
What did the blanket say to the bed? Don't worry, I've got you covered!
What do you get when you cross the Godfather with an attorney? An offer you can't understand.
Did you hear about the paper boy? He blew away
What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.
I’m sick of martial arts.
I have kung flu.
How do you repair a broken tomato? Tomato Paste!
Where does bad light go? PRISM!
Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job? Because she couldn't control her pupils?
Knock Knock
Who's There?
I eat grape.
I eat grape who?
You eat grey poo!
Choose any number between 2 and 7. Multiply by 4 and add 3. Now reverse the digits and close your eyes.
Dark, isn’t it?
Why did the birdie go to the hospital? To get a tweetment.
What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup? Firecrackers!
Why did the girl bring lipstick and eye shadow to school? She had a make-up exam!
Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? He couldn't concentrate!
Q: Why did the pillow go to the doctor?
A: He was feeling all stuffed up!
What do you call a gangsta snowman? Froze-T
Q: How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
By the footprints in the butter!
What did one wall say to the other wall?
"I’ll meet you at the corner!"
I went to the doctor with hearing problems. He said, "Can you describe the symptoms?"
I said, “Homer’s the big dude and Marge has blue hair...”
What do you get if you a cross a card game with a typhoon? Bridge over troubled water.
What do you call a bee that lives in America? USB
Whens the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty
Why did the robber take a bath? Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
Knock knock…
Who’s there?
Voodoo.
Voodoo who?
Voodoo you think you are?
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.
What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it? Post Office!
What kind of bird sticks to sweaters? a Vel-Crow.
What do you call a ghosts mom and dad? Transparents
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