What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? "Where's Popcorn?"
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one!
Why are pirates called pirates? Cause they arrrrr.
Why can't a leopard hide? Because he's always spotted!
What do you cal purple when it is being mean? Violent.
What has one horn and gives milk?
A milk truck.
What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup? Firecrackers!
What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut?
I'm a cashew!
Why was the weightlifter upset?
She worked with dumbbells.
Learning how to collect trash wasn’t hard.
I just picked it up as I went along.
Teacher: Use a sentence that starts with "I"
Bobby: I is...
Teacher: No, Bobby. You should say "I am", never "I is".
Bobby: "I am the 9th letter of the alphabet."
Why does a hummingbird hum? It doesn't know the words!
Why do ducks have tail feathers?
To cover their buttquacks.
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will Let it go.
What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt!
Why is it so windy inside a stadium?
There are hundreds of fans.
Why did the scientist go to the tanning salon? Because he was a paleontologist.
What stays in the corner and travels all over the world? A stamp.
What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and wooden engine? it wooden go!
What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you?
Nacho cheese!
Why did the tree go to the dentist? To get a root canal.
What do you call it when your nose is stuffy at the rodeo?
Cowboy Boogie.
What's the first bet that most people make in their lives? the alpha bet
Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus!
Why did God make only one Yogi Bear? Because when he tried to make a second one he made a Boo-Boo.
What did the little mountain say to the big mountain? Hi Cliff! Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That's just how I roll.
What did the father say whilst teaching his kid to tie his shoelaces?
Knot bad
What pet makes the loudest noise? A trum-pet!
What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops? Guardians of the Galaxy.
What do bulls do when they go shopping? They CHARGE!
What kind of jokes do you make in the shower? Clean Jokes!
Why can’t you ever tell a joke around glass?
It could crack up.
Did you hear about the monster with five legs? His trousers fit him like a glove.
Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs? Because the cow has the utter.
Did you hear about the carrot detective? He got to the root of every case.
What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn't move? The road!
Where do sheep go to get haircuts? To the Baa Baa shop!
What season is it when you are on a trampoline? Spring time.
Did you hear about the shampoo shortage in Jamaica? It's dread-full.
What kind of lunch do moms never prepare in the morning?
Their own.
Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job? Because she couldn't control her pupils?
What exam do young witches have to pass? A spell-ing test!
What goes up and down but doesn't move? The temperature!
Why is a baseball team similar to a muffin? They both depend on the batter.
What do cats eat for breakfast?
Mice krispies.
How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
Why did the chicken cross the road? It was playing crossy road.
Why is Basketball such a messy sport? Because you dribble on the floor!
Why are elephants so wrinkled?
Because they take too long to iron!
What kind of key opens the door on Thanksgiving? A turkey!
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