What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships
What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad.
Did you hear about the kidnapping? He woke up.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An Investigator
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
What is an astronaut's favorite place on a computer? The Space bar!
What goes up when the rain comes down? An umbrella.
What washes up on very small beaches? Microwaves!
Why did the scientist go to the tanning salon? Because he was a paleontologist.
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one!
What does Minnie Mouse drive?
A Minnie van!
What do you call a very religious person that sleep walks? a Roman Catholic
Q: Why did the king go to the dentist?
A: To get his teeth crowned!
What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!
Why didn't the 11 year old go to the pirate movie? because it was rated arrrrr!
What kind of button won't unbutton? A bellybutton!
What dog keeps the best time? A watch dog.
What is brown and has a head and a tail but no legs? A penny.
What do you cal purple when it is being mean? Violent.
What did the hamburger name his daughter? Patty!
What did the policeman say to his tummy?
Freeze. You’re under a vest.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack? An abdominal snowman.
What did the pink panther say when he stepped on the ant? A. deadant deadant deadant deadant.
Did you hear the joke about the roof?
Never mind, it’s over your head.
What do you call a book that's about the brain? A mind reader.
What kind of emotions do noses feel? Nostralgia. Why did the dog cross the road? To get to the "barking" lot!
How does a suit put his child into bed? He tux him in.
What did the alien say to the garden? Take me to your weeder.
What did the tie say to the hat? A. You go on ahead and I'll hang around
What three candies can you find in every school? Nerds, DumDums, and smarties.
What did the leopard say after eating his owner? Man, that hit the "spot."
Where do snowmen keep their money? In snow banks.
Did you know vampires aren’t real?
Unless you Count Dracula.
Can February March? No. But April May.
Did you hear about that new broom? It's sweeping the nation!
What do you get if you a cross a card game with a typhoon? Bridge over troubled water.
Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? The scientists were brainstorming!
What bow can't be tied? A rainbow!
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear.
What do you call a computer floating in the ocean? A Dell Rolling in the Deep.
What was the seal's favorite subject in school?
ART ART ART!
Q: What did the judge say to the dentist?
A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What did the earth say to all the other planets?
Wow you guys have no life.
Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds.
What did the blanket say to the bed? Don't worry, I've got you covered!
What has 5 fingers but isn't your hand?
My hand.
Choose any number between 2 and 7. Multiply by 4 and add 3. Now reverse the digits and close your eyes.
Dark, isn’t it?
Where do boats go when they get sick? The dock
What does the Lone Ranger say when he takes out the garbage? To the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump.
Go to BabaMail
